I saw myself asleep in the bare rain, which was a light drizzxle. God Had Spared me.
I think I got off well. I shall give up the weed. For good. I shall do this no later than January 1st, 12:01am, 2020.
Lord.
Monday, December 23, 2019
Sunday, December 22, 2019
Her firstborn son.
Marcus is his name. That's Brenda's son. But now, I must face the consequence, that unless a miracle, All I will ever seeoof them is the pictures from when we were together. I'm sad it's like that, but that's how it is. For the good of the kids.
I wish I had this motivation to get right up. I thought to start a log. When I get up, and every cash out. The pettiness of each task completed, there is a machine algorithm to do that already. You don't have to mimic the machine, do you? No.
Now, you are the solution to a conflict. How does that sound? You like being the solution to a conflict? You like being mean or you like being nice to kids? I think that's healthy for you.
I accused a man of stealing. He may have really stole, but then again, maybe not. I hope he hasn't stolen. Enough about him.
I'm tired of giving up on people, you know? I don't subscribe to the some of us lose mentality. Losing is a virus. It means there is an illness in the stream. There musnt be allowed fault. Why, if you can mock, you can mend. You can fiz, you can please, you can task according to strength. One of the solomn tasks of the instructor is to go over the task instructed. Numerous times.
When the matter is solved, then shall another task be delivered. But not before. You have to take the lesson you are on. Don't try to evade the lesson.
Brenda is a lesson. You are a lesson. What lesson was she? That love and money are married, and apart they are of no mention. It is so, because if you love your job, you do well and earn money.
But if you don't love your job, you may earn money, but you are griding along. you are happy only when you love your job you have to do.
It's like jokes. Eddie Morphy is a comic, and he mentioned me. I am shocked, honored, and upset at the same time. I remember as a kid, seeing people who are now working today. Now they're still working, and I'm still not there. Why? Because I chose the church. Not out of nobility - out of necessity. I love my mother. I love my father. I love them both. I trust myself.
I love The Lord. I like myself. I can do this.
Lord.
I wish I had this motivation to get right up. I thought to start a log. When I get up, and every cash out. The pettiness of each task completed, there is a machine algorithm to do that already. You don't have to mimic the machine, do you? No.
Now, you are the solution to a conflict. How does that sound? You like being the solution to a conflict? You like being mean or you like being nice to kids? I think that's healthy for you.
I accused a man of stealing. He may have really stole, but then again, maybe not. I hope he hasn't stolen. Enough about him.
I'm tired of giving up on people, you know? I don't subscribe to the some of us lose mentality. Losing is a virus. It means there is an illness in the stream. There musnt be allowed fault. Why, if you can mock, you can mend. You can fiz, you can please, you can task according to strength. One of the solomn tasks of the instructor is to go over the task instructed. Numerous times.
When the matter is solved, then shall another task be delivered. But not before. You have to take the lesson you are on. Don't try to evade the lesson.
Brenda is a lesson. You are a lesson. What lesson was she? That love and money are married, and apart they are of no mention. It is so, because if you love your job, you do well and earn money.
But if you don't love your job, you may earn money, but you are griding along. you are happy only when you love your job you have to do.
It's like jokes. Eddie Morphy is a comic, and he mentioned me. I am shocked, honored, and upset at the same time. I remember as a kid, seeing people who are now working today. Now they're still working, and I'm still not there. Why? Because I chose the church. Not out of nobility - out of necessity. I love my mother. I love my father. I love them both. I trust myself.
I love The Lord. I like myself. I can do this.
Lord.
Wednesday, December 18, 2019
How worthless.
I can't imagine waking up and saying "I"m going to steal a table from a church. " But that's exactly what happened. Sunday, someone took a table that we use, and took it from the premises. Why would they do thaT? What is the point? What is the message? How dare they.
And what's with these nincompoops who think it's ok to steal from me? Is there some hidden reason you think it's ok to do this for? What is the purpose of stealing at all? You are a theif for what? Who pays you? What is the reason?
I told the Mexicans the new stereotype will come out where they steal. Everyone will know Mexicans steal. So now, as long as you're working, you'll have to look out for that one.
I was here for three years. No one stole anything. Not even the debris from out the bathroom. Nothing was taken from here. I was here alone, for three years. Now we have a Mexican church, and things are coming up missing. Why? Is that part of pride? Is that the pride of the people? How they can steal? Is this what Moma raised you up to be? A thief from God? You stole from a church, the church? You're just doing wrong. You ought to be ashamed.
I don't want you to be labeled, but this is what you're telling The Lord. Hey God, I don't care about you. You are nothing to me. Because I steal, I'll steal fom you.
But where will you go? What planet did you make? Belongs to you? What place will you hide from God? Where? You stole from Him, not man. You stole from God. You will pay.
Now, don't get mad at anyone. No one told you to steal. No one said, hey, stealing is ok. No one did. You just decided to steal.
It's freezing cold here at night. Try some little degrees. I'm sure maybe 32, 42 degrees. Not high temp. Rather cold. But not as cold as other places. Thank The Lord.
Why can't people just be good? Why steal? Why take something you didn't make? Didn't buy? What a waste of sperm. To me, you ought to have never been born. If you would steal from God, then what mercy can you ever earn? You took something from The House of The Lord, for a bad reason. For pride's sake.
The tables were set out because the people would always come and throw the food on the tables we eat at. It's like they were saying they were better than us without saying it. Leaving shit all tore up when they leave, the floor unswept, the aisles dirty. They stole bibles. Lord, they stole my phone. They took from here. And it was ok for them. They don't care about you That much Lord. Please forgive them. What a horrible blemish on your people.
I still think you ought to have remorse. But instead, I feel pride. All I feel is people saying in their hearts "No, you don't tell me Black." "no I don't care shut up. You're just mad," and all this. I don't feel "man I'm sorry about that, he doesn't speak for everybody or whatever. All I sense is resentment, contempt, jealousy, and regret.
There ought to be honor. So what you have it hard here. You better want cartells blasting and poverty and rape where you came from? Why come to this land and steal? Who told you that was cool? Then, from a church. Why did you do that?
Was it borrowing? did you borrow the table? I hope so. I hope you just borrowed it and you'll bring it back. I'll ask about it Sunday. If no one has the answer, then I know it was stolen. And that's sad. Drugs will make you do that.
I smoked weed here for 3 years. No one ever stole from here. No one ever came here and took nothing. Until they took my phone. Then my bible. Whoever took those things, ask about them now. See where they are today. I think they regret having stolen anything.
But what is it in you that challenges God? Who have you listened to, where you will challenge your creator?
I don't want to be you.
I need to be me. For the record.
Lord.
And what's with these nincompoops who think it's ok to steal from me? Is there some hidden reason you think it's ok to do this for? What is the purpose of stealing at all? You are a theif for what? Who pays you? What is the reason?
I told the Mexicans the new stereotype will come out where they steal. Everyone will know Mexicans steal. So now, as long as you're working, you'll have to look out for that one.
I was here for three years. No one stole anything. Not even the debris from out the bathroom. Nothing was taken from here. I was here alone, for three years. Now we have a Mexican church, and things are coming up missing. Why? Is that part of pride? Is that the pride of the people? How they can steal? Is this what Moma raised you up to be? A thief from God? You stole from a church, the church? You're just doing wrong. You ought to be ashamed.
I don't want you to be labeled, but this is what you're telling The Lord. Hey God, I don't care about you. You are nothing to me. Because I steal, I'll steal fom you.
But where will you go? What planet did you make? Belongs to you? What place will you hide from God? Where? You stole from Him, not man. You stole from God. You will pay.
Now, don't get mad at anyone. No one told you to steal. No one said, hey, stealing is ok. No one did. You just decided to steal.
It's freezing cold here at night. Try some little degrees. I'm sure maybe 32, 42 degrees. Not high temp. Rather cold. But not as cold as other places. Thank The Lord.
Why can't people just be good? Why steal? Why take something you didn't make? Didn't buy? What a waste of sperm. To me, you ought to have never been born. If you would steal from God, then what mercy can you ever earn? You took something from The House of The Lord, for a bad reason. For pride's sake.
The tables were set out because the people would always come and throw the food on the tables we eat at. It's like they were saying they were better than us without saying it. Leaving shit all tore up when they leave, the floor unswept, the aisles dirty. They stole bibles. Lord, they stole my phone. They took from here. And it was ok for them. They don't care about you That much Lord. Please forgive them. What a horrible blemish on your people.
I still think you ought to have remorse. But instead, I feel pride. All I feel is people saying in their hearts "No, you don't tell me Black." "no I don't care shut up. You're just mad," and all this. I don't feel "man I'm sorry about that, he doesn't speak for everybody or whatever. All I sense is resentment, contempt, jealousy, and regret.
There ought to be honor. So what you have it hard here. You better want cartells blasting and poverty and rape where you came from? Why come to this land and steal? Who told you that was cool? Then, from a church. Why did you do that?
Was it borrowing? did you borrow the table? I hope so. I hope you just borrowed it and you'll bring it back. I'll ask about it Sunday. If no one has the answer, then I know it was stolen. And that's sad. Drugs will make you do that.
I smoked weed here for 3 years. No one ever stole from here. No one ever came here and took nothing. Until they took my phone. Then my bible. Whoever took those things, ask about them now. See where they are today. I think they regret having stolen anything.
But what is it in you that challenges God? Who have you listened to, where you will challenge your creator?
I don't want to be you.
I need to be me. For the record.
Lord.
Tuesday, December 17, 2019
The best case sceneraio
Is I finish with $82 dollars, $83 I need but I add the dollar later on.
Now, how can I make this? I started working, but I need a planning. I need something else solid, stable, and that will be with me in all moments. This is the medium, such here, online.
I awake at 5am. There is a bowl with rice in it already prepared in the fridge, so the roaches don't get it. Pull it out, fill it with water, and set it in the microwave.
10
5
done.
Fluff and spread soy sauce over it.
Eat on this hot rice as you work. Do not stop until the
Now, how can I make this? I started working, but I need a planning. I need something else solid, stable, and that will be with me in all moments. This is the medium, such here, online.
I awake at 5am. There is a bowl with rice in it already prepared in the fridge, so the roaches don't get it. Pull it out, fill it with water, and set it in the microwave.
10
5
done.
Fluff and spread soy sauce over it.
Eat on this hot rice as you work. Do not stop until the
Monday, December 16, 2019
Because I don't go out.
My only little enjoyment is comedy. That's it. I don't go out to Six Flags. I don't go out to Germany, nothing. I stay in. I stay in, and gert sh*t done.
I hear all these people having a blast at life. IO saay boy, I'd like to do this too.
Wear an acrylic jacket I give you. Here, "wear this."
Thewn do 12 pushups. In a row. No five minutes in between.
Each time.
then, Then you'll herat up. You;ll feel more at home. You'll feel better. And get some rest.
I look like an eskinoom when I'm sleep. You ever sleep in a cold place. You get up looking like an eskimo. I don't be freezing, but I look like I do. You see me and say, "What tundra did yuou come offf? Did you have a mountain escape?
I went to see family by my mother's blessing. I thought nice of people to hear kind things unkindly. I saw I thought I needed your help. You needed mine. I never knew why.
That's why I thought to thank you. And my FAMILY ALL TOGETHER. I'm not interested in you. Like that. But I love you. And That's that.
So until next time, I do love you, but stop. I'm not interested in you like that, but I do love you, and that's that.
That's how you do that.
Oh hi. I see you on stage too. Good for you. You got here. Great.
I heard a plain car at the Long Beach Highway. I don't know what told me to explain that. Here's what I did.
I put this woman - so I walked along the bank of the Long Beach riverbed. I wanted to nothing else. I want to be with her. Thank you Lord. I figure you Love me now anyway.
Take a toddler with you.
I'm glad you did.
I hear all these people having a blast at life. IO saay boy, I'd like to do this too.
Wear an acrylic jacket I give you. Here, "wear this."
Thewn do 12 pushups. In a row. No five minutes in between.
Each time.
then, Then you'll herat up. You;ll feel more at home. You'll feel better. And get some rest.
I look like an eskinoom when I'm sleep. You ever sleep in a cold place. You get up looking like an eskimo. I don't be freezing, but I look like I do. You see me and say, "What tundra did yuou come offf? Did you have a mountain escape?
I went to see family by my mother's blessing. I thought nice of people to hear kind things unkindly. I saw I thought I needed your help. You needed mine. I never knew why.
That's why I thought to thank you. And my FAMILY ALL TOGETHER. I'm not interested in you. Like that. But I love you. And That's that.
So until next time, I do love you, but stop. I'm not interested in you like that, but I do love you, and that's that.
That's how you do that.
Oh hi. I see you on stage too. Good for you. You got here. Great.
I heard a plain car at the Long Beach Highway. I don't know what told me to explain that. Here's what I did.
I put this woman - so I walked along the bank of the Long Beach riverbed. I wanted to nothing else. I want to be with her. Thank you Lord. I figure you Love me now anyway.
Take a toddler with you.
I'm glad you did.
Saturday, December 14, 2019
You gotta figure out a better way.
If the money is too slow Da. You have to figure out a better way. Now, the besty way is ddirect depsit. You want i now. So you send it now. Tell everyone. Tell everyone again. Tell everyone one more time. A thuired time. Tell everyone.
I remember driving to a party lookin for Benda's kids. I'd like for them to have been my kids too, but that's besides the point. I should have waited.
I went in unto her too soon. I remmeber her alloiwing me in. IHer vagina was warm and soft, but there was a slight wetness to the hole. It was as if the gap was widened and altered just for me to enter. I could have waited. I put that eoman through a lot lot of pain. I simply want to make up for it.
Now, the best part is, you have the option to. Forgive her. Forgive yourself. I
I remember not telling her I love her back. She said she loved me. " I love you"" she said. Wow. She said I love you to me. I feel honored, and treasured. It's all in the past now. She said it and f*cked somebody else. Forgive me Lord. I cursed in the church. I have to purify myself.
Angela has to bring me my blanket. Why would they do me like that. I want her to love me back. Angie has to bring my blanket back. Wash it and bring it back. In a box, please.
I want it back the same way you got it. If you wore it and it needs to be washed again no problem. I want my blanket back. There is no way can have it. It's my blanket I let you borrow. You told me you'd bring it back. I would not have given it to you if you weren't going to bring it back. You cannot steal from me. I am The Lord. I will not take.
I can't realize the power of music. My behavinr is slow. I have too many clothes. I have to buy stuff. Most of my time is spent working. I'm not going to bnuy a lot of things for myself. I am going to buy things for the church. I am workinginternally to fix the church . I work here with The Lord and Brenda. She loves me, I love her. Thank yo Lord. I submit to you.
AS I was saig, I love her man. I was in the reoon, the dim litgth. A little light. She wqas haked, I was naked, we got nasty ansd I pulled my duck out. I put it there lik it belinged there, I was not shjy. I entered her, quilet ly as she wawtched. I don't remember how her lets were, I may have had them pareted. IU think her lets were behimd jer head. I Think that was right.
I love you Lord. Thank You Lord Jesus Chist. Forever. You are The Ultimate.
I remember driving to a party lookin for Benda's kids. I'd like for them to have been my kids too, but that's besides the point. I should have waited.
I went in unto her too soon. I remmeber her alloiwing me in. IHer vagina was warm and soft, but there was a slight wetness to the hole. It was as if the gap was widened and altered just for me to enter. I could have waited. I put that eoman through a lot lot of pain. I simply want to make up for it.
Now, the best part is, you have the option to. Forgive her. Forgive yourself. I
I remember not telling her I love her back. She said she loved me. " I love you"" she said. Wow. She said I love you to me. I feel honored, and treasured. It's all in the past now. She said it and f*cked somebody else. Forgive me Lord. I cursed in the church. I have to purify myself.
Angela has to bring me my blanket. Why would they do me like that. I want her to love me back. Angie has to bring my blanket back. Wash it and bring it back. In a box, please.
I want it back the same way you got it. If you wore it and it needs to be washed again no problem. I want my blanket back. There is no way can have it. It's my blanket I let you borrow. You told me you'd bring it back. I would not have given it to you if you weren't going to bring it back. You cannot steal from me. I am The Lord. I will not take.
I can't realize the power of music. My behavinr is slow. I have too many clothes. I have to buy stuff. Most of my time is spent working. I'm not going to bnuy a lot of things for myself. I am going to buy things for the church. I am workinginternally to fix the church . I work here with The Lord and Brenda. She loves me, I love her. Thank yo Lord. I submit to you.
AS I was saig, I love her man. I was in the reoon, the dim litgth. A little light. She wqas haked, I was naked, we got nasty ansd I pulled my duck out. I put it there lik it belinged there, I was not shjy. I entered her, quilet ly as she wawtched. I don't remember how her lets were, I may have had them pareted. IU think her lets were behimd jer head. I Think that was right.
I love you Lord. Thank You Lord Jesus Chist. Forever. You are The Ultimate.
Wednesday, December 11, 2019
Anger is medicine
When coupled with diligence. When you are mad, it is because you have not tightened your grip. You are loving, but make certain you love her to the depth. there is nothing you would rather do than love her. But., can you make it that far? Or will you drown.
I'll never drown. youll never e nothing.
Oh,
I rule you. I control you wholly.
I treasure you. I love you eternally. I know I love you. I really do. Lord. I love Brenda So much. I wish I could have her, inside out. I wish she was mine.
Why do I wish? I wish because I want. She doesn't want me. So I wish she did.
I understand I don't always get what I wish for. I wish I did always get what I wish for.
I wish for Brenda, my house in Lynwood, and The Lord Jesus Christ To Control Everything.
I wish for Brenda's Heart. May she love me fully, with no regard. May she kiss her left breast at the thought of me, at the appointed hour so Blessed by God. Lord Jesus Christ, Please Lord send me regard, the path to which I fulfill my desire to have her. I need her.
Why do I need her? She has seen my smallness and regarded it. I am in debt to her. I regret being a fool and losing her. I guess I never had her if she's gone, huh? Funny, becaue all around me, I see that she is there, and I am afraid. I am afraid for her. I wish she is safe always Lord. I wish she is satisfied with bread each day. I wish she marries me. I wish I have her, Lord. I wish I have Brenda, Lord. I wish I have Brenda because she was there Lord. To see me at small time. To see what humbble regard I am immannered with. To see what stalling legacy I pronounce. To see what clowning I can do. To see what she loves about me, and what she does not. To see how wish she has become. To see how wise she is now. To become great, Lord. To learn more as time goes on. There is no substitute. There is no heaven for me without Brenda. There is nothing but toil. And Children.
I'll never drown. youll never e nothing.
Oh,
I rule you. I control you wholly.
I treasure you. I love you eternally. I know I love you. I really do. Lord. I love Brenda So much. I wish I could have her, inside out. I wish she was mine.
Why do I wish? I wish because I want. She doesn't want me. So I wish she did.
I understand I don't always get what I wish for. I wish I did always get what I wish for.
I wish for Brenda, my house in Lynwood, and The Lord Jesus Christ To Control Everything.
I wish for Brenda's Heart. May she love me fully, with no regard. May she kiss her left breast at the thought of me, at the appointed hour so Blessed by God. Lord Jesus Christ, Please Lord send me regard, the path to which I fulfill my desire to have her. I need her.
Why do I need her? She has seen my smallness and regarded it. I am in debt to her. I regret being a fool and losing her. I guess I never had her if she's gone, huh? Funny, becaue all around me, I see that she is there, and I am afraid. I am afraid for her. I wish she is safe always Lord. I wish she is satisfied with bread each day. I wish she marries me. I wish I have her, Lord. I wish I have Brenda, Lord. I wish I have Brenda because she was there Lord. To see me at small time. To see what humbble regard I am immannered with. To see what stalling legacy I pronounce. To see what clowning I can do. To see what she loves about me, and what she does not. To see how wish she has become. To see how wise she is now. To become great, Lord. To learn more as time goes on. There is no substitute. There is no heaven for me without Brenda. There is nothing but toil. And Children.
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