There's nothing else to that.

Don't waste the tight.
Wash your coat. Patches? Stains from different occasions.
"We'll need it."
Humams are the funniest creatures on earth. We really go through like we know what the beep. That's f--- I censored. Like we got tjos on lock. The only thing we got locked is the Doritos between your teeth. You didn't brush, says the Asian man in your mind. Every time you cook rice. You hear a little Mandarin song. I imagine Japanese instruments. I stay true. You know how mad They are at the rest of The world? Madder than cooked rice. That's how mad. That we have pokemon cards. They're upset. They are.
Convert it cool.
Practice pimping on robots.
We're not punks.

Keep working your mind. I think you ought to stop worrying about Cedar. When you do something
Getting excited about yourself? Ok.
Why would The Lord move in a way you can readily understand?
If your own mind frightens you, then you are a slave. Be glad for mercy. The Lord Has you now.
Where's the discounts? Dang n---- here's ten percent off.
I have come to realize you are who you are.
You can only beat a dog so many times before it runs away.
And I am no dog.
Get up and be there."
Lord Fanatics
The first millionaire.
Each day you gotta write. You cant eat one meal and be straight. So how can you gather the stage with pebbles? This ain't bedrock. I havent eaten a brontosaurus burger.
I started working with the Mexicans and thought I was gon stay.
"Senor"
That's when I knew I didn't have a future there.
Hold it down for The Lord.
The Lord was good at Loving.
I stop rejecting myself.
I am fiercely negative. About stupidity. I know what people can do.
Certain things you never say onstage. You don't give addresses out up here. That's a good nose sock right there. "You sent creeps to my door. You'll pay, oh you'll pay!" You won't pay if you don't do that.
If you found some money with some cum on it would you pick it up.
I want to get to the drawls and t shirt. Reality: After the romance. From candlelight to eye crust.
Ain't nothing lower than a woman. Because she's with me. We're lowlives. We live low.
And have a good time
How y'all feel tonight? Or today, some of yall. Who woke up? "I'm here. Why?" That is why you are here. You don't know yet.

I like all this sh--. Do you like it.
...
Phase out.
Panties. Are they washed?
That's some light SKINNED sh-- you are doing there.

You want a lot of sh-- for acting up.

Now:

[ ] I love you
[ ] The milk has to be good.
[ ] How many people are satisfied with life?
[ ] Oh You are? You little satisfieds.
[ ] Life is tight.
[ ] I know it's not true. That's what I felt this morning.
[ ] I work online. So I dont have to work with f---s to make a buck.
[ ] An end to a bully.
[ ] Holding my queen down
[ ] Hold me down
[ ] You got to realize
[ ] You wonder why
[ ] I collected enough sh--
[ ] Every good thing is The Lord.
[ ] Start there but continue
[ ] Innocently worshipping
[ ] You will pay for every single thing.
[ ] Crawling Along with Bob Woodward
[ ] Positivity pleases me.
[ ] Youthless
[ ] Young Baby
[ ] Put The Cross in the Game
[ ] Latino Brown
[ ] Worth the risk
[ ] When you become necessary, you cannot be defeated.
[ ] Never question me while sucking dick
[ ] Wife sucking
[ ] Obey and respect
[ ] Learn or burn
[ ] I care if you're breathing or not.
[ ] Vape
[ ] Dank
[ ] Now I realize
[ ] Love online
[ ] Who did u get ot based off of?

I'm sad about it but I got to keep going.

Now:

The kids get their sky.

Worthless

I was upset ina dream. I said "women are worthless." I meant it.

Now, I'm not in the dream. I'll leave it in the dream.

Brenda was by my side as we crossed a street. I was able to put my arm around her. People in the street seemed to watch and egg us on.

The building was orange, not red. We crossed the street to some kind of alleyway. We begain to go inside some building. She had on blue ish clothing, and I don't know what I had on. But she loved. I don't remember if we kissed at all. I don't think we did. I would have rememembered. But all I know is we were together. At least then.

Some parade was later. Some walk and a japanese kid played bass guitar at a tight moment. We were walking in the street and a crossroad appeared. The basss guitar came out tight at the right moment. I was impressed and said "That was tight." Brenda was nowhere near. I was oblivious.

I got to some red road and we took that road. I was with other people I didn't even know, but I figured they were my kids. We went through the red part, all the way until Brenda reappeared by my side.

She had on multicolored clothes, but it was something off about her. Something red happened, and she wasn't the same. She wasn't even into me any more. She wasn't by my side. She appeared again to my right.

She didn't appear to talk to me. Instead, she talked to people around me and when I gestured I was in the know, she looked at me slightly. She was in the game.

So what could I do? I lost a love. I scowled "Women are worthless" and the crowd parted for me. It was after a few seconds the people seemed to know something I didn't need to know. I became angry and walked off.

There was a woman who fell in some grass with two kids in her arms. She layed there with her eyes closed, seeming to hope it would all go away. She had on a blue dodger jersey. It's like she was saying "No it's just a dream, no you don't mean that."

I was angry in the dream. I was withoutm my woman, and I guess I was the fool too. I didn't even know what had gone on.

But luckily, I woke up. Still, I don't have her by my side, but I don't feel women are truly worthless. Obviously not if they helped me sleep with a roof. I did have a place to stay, because of a woman. So women aren't worthless.

But I felt that way. And the crowd parted. The german game was there. I'm not playing games. I don't like it. I don't agree with this Wilson shit. I knew Courtney Wilson. She was a pretty white girl. She wasn't bad, trying to kill people. She was cool, as far as I knew.

I don't have a reason to be mad at people. Last night somebody tried to stunt with a threat over here. Why would you do that to a church. It's not like I was in the parking lot screaming out. I was in a room, talking to myself. When can't you do that in USA? Where there is free speech? You  didn't threaten those people who got me fired. You didn't tell them anything for stopping my work. That was cool. But talking alone in the church? Naw, that's not cool. You gotta stop that or else.

Or else what? Who do you think you are? What can you do God Cannot Do? You're still mad aren't you?

Get over yourself.

You act like you have a right to be mad. You don't. You made several mistakes. The first one was believing you are right. The second is threatening anyone. The third is preparing to act on those threats. Why? Because you already had it planned out.

Why lie and say it was me? Why not say I just want to cause trouble. Here's my chance? Tell the truth.

Quit all this bullshit, man. I said punk. I meant punk. People are acting like punks. They want someone to be scared of them. If it's 30 degrees outside, you'll freeze. You're not ready for Big life. You're just acting bad because it's popular. You're a follower. Only a follower would get mad at a church.

I'm not ascared anymore. When I was young, I was afraid. But if I can't have my woman, what am I fighting for? There's no one else out there for me. All these other people came later, after the fact. Oh you're strong, oh you're this, that. All this later. Then some woman. She didn't earn all that I have. She wasn't there to cultivate it. It grew with Brenda. But she ran away. Just like I did.

One time she got mad and stomped her feet. I ran away. I got in my car and left. I just drove off. I don't know why.

I came back later with a flower. But I don't know why I ran away.

It must have been because, in that backyard, many things had happened, not concerning me. I came later. So I didn't earn her, you know what I mean? I wasn't there to make who she was. I just came there and came up.

So now, she met me, and became influenced. Had the experience, and began to fight the form. What was happening, she was becoming, strand by strand, mine. She was becoming my queen all along. But she didn't want to.

So she left. She got with other men, touched other dicks. Probably got pregnant and had another kid. I'm just out of the loop.

Then years later now, I have a dream about her thinking, oh, she loves me, hho nice. But it was God warning me. Telling me that she had gone away, and that all this love I feel or whatever, was a product of my mind only.

So if I'm powerful enough to simulate love, then what else can I do? Lord Jesus Christ Is The King. This is because  it's true. A man is making money off that today. So there. I get next to nothing, cleaning out sinks and helping out ladies off the the floor, and others are making money, doing more. But I still love you.

I forgive you. Regardless. I doubt you forgive me. For whatever I did. I doubt the world has enough heart to forgive.

There was some red wave. Some people. I saw a lady who was very only. She looked pregnant. I thought that was wierd, for her to be pregnant at that age. But that's what I was asking! I was asking Brenda to be pregnant at a wired age!

She had her kids! I was delusional! Like the song says! I wanted to some shit I wasn't going to get!

Oh well.

But at least I had some when I did. At least I tasted love Lord. At least I know what that's like. At least I know what love is. I can tell the difference. Maybe that will help somebody.

It's all a matter of just help. Don't worry about what you're going to get. The Children are not worthless. No child is worthless. All children are God's babies. Don't throw them under the bus. Your little ego, whoever is crying, will heal. Stop crying so hard about your feeling you shouldn't be having. After all, this is being written in a room with no people around. All this your're doing is extra.

So there you have it. Freedom of speech compromized by Mexicans. Good deal. Will you let it, hell naw. You just deal with it like I gotta deal with being out of work. I had a job I don't have now. I had another job I got KICKed out of. And the only reason is, you didn't like me.

So there. Be happy feel glad about that. I will continue to have dreams that tell me the truth. You all are people, so with people, you gotta take the good with the bad.

And I know a little about the bad.

I  wish Brena well always. I'm just sad to say I love a myth. In my mind at least, we were able to walk by some water. and I at least cared about her and felt she cared about me. Wanted to be there. Wanted to be by my side.

Why do I need a companion? Why can't I just be an angel or something, with no organs? What do I do with these, Lord? I don't want to waste them. Maybe I save them, but how long? It's like I was a dud, like Meriam said.

What a waste then. But no, I don't feel that down. It feels rather than I made a mistake and God is just sparing me. I don't want to work ourside. I want to work inside, online. Why can't I make $100 a day online. I can.

I like myself.
I like myself.
I like myself.

I can do this. I can make $100 a day online.

I hope soon the post where I reveal how I did it.

Much love.

In the Name of Lord Jesus Christ, my goal is:

"I make a net worth of $9 million dollars by 35."


Amen.

I now realize

I am a sinner. I have needs. I want Brenda. I need money. I need about $5000 a month to live right. I can afford a house, a car, all the trimmings. I can afford good sex. Imagine, making love on $1000 furniture I bought. My wife will be thrilled. Why can't it be Brenda, Lord? But she said no, let me learn to accept this.

In other news, We had church today. People think Sunday is about man. Sunday isn't about man. There are no routines. Nothing is business as usual. You get older and expect things to change, get better. They do. You have to make them that way.

People are beginning to realize, Temple, The Lord Loves me. The Lord Loves Julius. I am grateful for this. But when I have been publically grateful, the answers I got, the response I got was to be destroyed. But I found out the reason why.

The people only mimic the mirror you produce. No one is above the Law. You give out signals of discord, disdain, I can't do, shi-- like that. You give out bad, the people pick it up. Some turn it into good. How amazing this over all. But then, some people take the bad and magnify it. Then, there is more bad, because you are thinking bad. If you're in a room full of people thinking good, then you will think good too. If there are 10 millionaires around you, you will become the eleventh.

But don't work to get rich. That's not the way. This is because, the money can't save you. The money can't do anything for you. The money can buy the things you need. But the money alone, the actual bills, the linen and paper fibers, can do nothing to save you. Only The Lord Can save you.

I was a deacon once. I had the moment, Monet is pretty still, I was the deacon. In my mind, I had that position. But the Deacon, he has money, you know. He has things you need to get. He has a job, credit. A car. These are things the deacon has. Deacon Tate has all these things. I don't have any of those things. I have a job, working only for a few pennies that add up. Yet, I am able to continue earning. So here is what happened.

Imagine an orb in your mind. It is blue, it has silver ridges engraved. In the center of the orb is a black dot. It's a small dot. It doesn't crystals. It has an adornment of purple hangers. It is small enough to hang furniture on. It is a big enough to notice. I think the main thing here is that Cellular is tight for life. And that this orb needn't be there.

It's not the black that's bad. Its the fact there's this orb, this form, these thoughts, this thinking, these patterns, that don't. They don't belong. They take up space. They make me feel bad. It doesn't need to be there. But it's there because I put it there. It's there because before in life, I didn't know to keep my guard up. My guard was down. I thought I was an innocent kid, with no worries, no problems. I thought I had the world as my friend. Boy, was I wrong.

Still in all, I do thank The Lord for what I have. There isn't a soul I cannot touch. The Lord has Blessed me so. But I have far to go. The fear I once had from men has been replaced.

"Hustle these blacks" is what I heard in Church today. I heard this loud and clear. Of course, no one said this. The Rev. Carillo said this. He said to do this, to the fellow Mexican-Americans. He told them, "just hustle these blacks, and you'll see it's not hard to get past them, they do things for you like pay you and help you out." Like we were squirells. Like we were cattle, or horses to feed. Like we were beneath him.

This was the message. They are beneath us, in my mind.

So, also, I was strong armed this morning after Church service. I care about the Pastor, and they told me the baathroom was dirty. The lady who came, Elizabeth, she helped out a lot. She did something good. I don't know what it is. I don't need to know. Instead, I thank her now.

It was told to me she messed up the bathroom. She didn't mess up the bathroom. She didn't do anything wrong. She was just resting here. I thank her for that. I was saying all this time to come rest at the Church while I am here. Come rest while I am having the yard activity. But I didn't take into account who might steal.

One man came, brother Tap, and he didn't steal or cause problems. Instead, he took problems away from the Church. He was a hero. But like a true hero, he wasn't around to get the credit.

You can always tell whose the hero. They are never around. They are busy being the hero. The scavengers, the ravens, the vultures, the mocking birds, the slitherers, they come and post up. "I'm the hero. I was here. Look what I did for you." But they did nothing but suck off the hero in his absense. Then they get bold. They want to tell you now, they are the reason, the hero's source. Because they were in the world first, there was a way for the Hero to be born. And You know, they're right. If it wasn't for them, there wouldn't be a hero. Because they wouldn't be around messing things up.

Now that's not right, but I feel everyone who does something good ought to be acknowledged. If you do something good, you need to hear about it. People need to shout you out. Give a prop. People need to do something to let you know. To inform you that you are important.

People act bad when they feel they are not important. If you tell a girl, with, Isaac, big tits. Tell her she's not important. Tell her those big beautiful tits you'd love to suck on, they're not important. Tell her this. And you will find that you are wrong, but she will be effected. She will feel you are right. And she will begin, Edna, to act out. She will begin to act the part of the worthless flesh. She will then start to decline. For a while, people will use her body. People will suck her all up. Eat her all up. And then they will depart when she is no use to them.

There was a woman on the train. She would smell and stink. She was just a hot mess. She was black, had large draping breasts. But she was dirty, unkepmpt. She looked like she had lost her mind. Like God had turned His Back. Of course, The Lord had done no such a thing. But it felt that way. It felt that way to her. She was alone, but she had sense. She would gesture to me that she was ok. I knew it was her soul telling me. Letting me know, she was just hurting. She was sad, is why she didn't care. She was out there sad.

Perhaps The Lord has more to say today then. I have a keen eye. The lady paid me 40 dollars. She wants me to come out there. I don't have money to come out anywhere. I have a few dollars now. I asked for $5 dollars back, but they didn't want to give me the $5 back. Why not? Then, they had an attitude. What in the world is your problem? I don't play about my money. I'm not the one for those games. You play with Nintendo. Not my money.

I'ma get my $5 back. I need my little change to move about the city. I have to do that, not you. You could say you've done so much for me. You could say you're doing a lot for me. You'd be right. Goofy. But not so here. I need my money. The people want to strong arm me. Because I am different. And this is the reason I fight so hard. Because different people live upon the earth.

Stop using the military to advance hate. Nonsense, predjudice and wrong. All of that, if you die today, will burn up with you. You don't want to burn like that. People try to think around God. Like He's an Obstacle. Then you wonder why things happen to you. You wonder why life is so hard. You wonder why, but the creator of life, the giver of Fortune, you don't appreciate. You assume you were born here out of chance. God selected you. He had in his mind the innocent child to be born here, and here you are. Revisit that innocence sometime. You may feel it's all gone. "I've sucked 100 dicks. Where is my innocence?" It's somewhere inside you still. It never went away. It is the reason you still breathe today. Because The Lord Knows, God knows you are innocent at the end.

But this does not mean you can just find a way to tuck it in when you get time. The Pastor even said, people in the stree you try to impress, I hear you, and they aren't even here. They're nowhere to be found. They don't even care enough about you to worship The Lord on Sunday.

We find that the streets are one part of life. We don't want to require the Church to bow to the streets. The Church Bows to The Lord. God, who created church, did so to show that each man must have a reason. Each man must have a reason to live. And so come and, crackers, worship me. Come cWorship Me, for I created you. But like a father, he does not command you. He wants to see your heart. Do you have The Heart to Worship me? Do you wish To see Heaven?

I do.

Now, I learned there is a knot in my brain. A thinking knot. It's a cluster of nerves that have been diligently serving me. All these years, they thought I wanted to be broke. They thought I wanted to sit down, not have nothing, be lost. Clamor for pennies. You're not worth much more. And The Lord for the past 34 years, has never given up trying to tell me I'm worth something. And that I'm somebody. It's sad the way people crab, but they do. May The Lord Bless them. You don't need to be like that.

But whatever the case, it's always something stupid. It's never smart. It's never like, "We're looking out for you."

I was thinking I can't win, so the people were like "No, you can't." You can't win. You aren't a winner, to us. You're a loser. Even you think so.

And that's how it happened. You let the others convince you of your own thoughts. But you thought it was them. You see. You rejected the thoughts consciously you are having unconsciously. In other words, you played yourself.

You don't need to do that any more. Don't play your self short. You are a worthy human being. Don't let the people convince you of anything different. Don't be a lazy ass either. Keep up the good work, and watch don't you see the Lord do his part.

Don't let the people's acting up get you to admit a lie. Don't believe when the foolish tell you, like the woman in the bible, something that's wrong. There was a woman whose husband was sick. Instead of telling him good, she said, "Curse your God and die." And die, she told her husband. Some wife.

And that's how it is. Step aside. Get out the way, because here we come. But you're on your way to h---.  I will step out the way. But you ought to as well.

Let's not get carried away. IF you love your own life, find the love everywhere else. Quit trying to generalize the rest of the world. All the people don't know you. You don't have to be a star to everybody.

Besides, there are more important things going on than your ego. You don't need to feel you are without a good reason to live.

Whats a trip, roaches have the nerve to gight. They are creatures born of filth, but they fight. They run. Where are you running? Why are you running? What have you done that is important.

But they help. The insects help. They tell the truth.

So if a little creature can tell the truth, so should you. Don't be a fool. Lie no more. To yourself, to your loved ones, to your family members. To Jews. To Christians. To anyone. Don't lie. Clowning is ok. But lies are not.

I have to Thank The Lord for Brenda.

Lord Jesus Christ, my goal is"

"I make a net worth of $9 million dollars by 35."

May those of anyone who even thinks against me or mine, in any form, be utterly destroyed forever, unless they confess The Lord Jesus Christ.

Amen.

There are basics to master.

The reason most people report little things, it's because they don't realize the big things they started.

I am awake now earlier. I went to be around 11pm. I work up at 5 am. I went back to sleep. I awoke again at 6 31. I am up now wide away. Last night, I helped move items. I had a yard activity. I got some rest after the activity and the activity helped.

The only thing is I don't like the floor in the sanctuary. It looks like a dust bowl. I saw dust all over the floor. I hope the people forgive. Even if it was them, still, it's too much dust on the floor for me. I'd rather it be cleaner than a whistle in here. A little bit of what? I'd rather there be cleanliness all the time everywhere.

The people adapt. That's what. The lady stuffed some wipes down the toilet yesterday. She didn't mess anything up. Thank Goodness. I am glad she came. Now the building will be closed during activities. There will be no focus but the activity itself.

When the calm sunny day rises upon the dusk, and calls it to change once again, there will be one tent, some tables, and a series of events which lead to the final subject, the yard activity.

I love Brenda. I wish she was here. I wish I lived in Lynwood. I wish I woke up this morning in my own house. So I could smoke. I'd vape, and then head out to Church after breakfast. Here, the breakfast is pomegranate and water. I have mint leaves also. So there's a fresh breath advantage.

I sleep on a dirty cover. I have to wash. I have all these clothes. They have to go out or to wash. We don't have enough trash cans for all the trash we generate. Is there a way to solve this problem? Yes. Generate less trash. Or have bags stacked against the trash can we have. This was we just stuff the bags in the trash on the day we throw it out. Whatever doesn't make it, those things will have to be restuffed into the container.

If I had a car, where would I go? I'd take my mother places. I remember driving my truck. I was driving down the street past the park. My mother was trying to tell me how to drive. She got mad. I was like "Moma you can't get mad at me in my own car!" I was a mess. But that truck is gone now. That truck was taken by my relative. I have been fortunate.

Does the fortune continue? Yes. You can find fortune in good behaviour. When you do good, the people love you. When you do bad, they love you as long as you don't do it to them. When will we fix this? I don't know.

I have several books to go.

Why feel down, discouraged about your lot? Your condition is not like the flies, they have a buzz but no more. They can't sign a document. But I think all creatures have some way to relate to the world. They all have some way to be able to communicate. They can somehow be happy without having to do all what we do. That's good.

I need to clean up. It looks like the end of a yard sale in this room. Clothes everywhere. If there was a machine that would beep where it was dirty the machine would have blew up. There's no car in the driveway with my license plate. I'm going to change that. The refridgerator looks like a robbery happened. The shelves got robbed of all the food! Will there be more food coming? I hope. I like to cook too. I have fish. I have french fries. I don't have donuts, and cookies. I don't have the trinkets I like. I want to deserve them. Can I, will I be able?

Don't let people even imagine they can threaten you. The moment they have anything to say, Lord Let them know. You have no power to say a word out of line to me. You have only the power to act right. Don't step out of line. We don't have the same problems as before. The problem was, people got comfortable. They kicked feet up and said "hey, I've done it." "The work is over." There is no such day on earth.

Remember Cain, what was said to him. "Listen, you will toil." You're not going to be happy all the time." The ground is cursed for Cain. We don't always see the lush tropics talking because of Cain. It was jealousy that caused him to act bad. So we see Jealousy is bad. But not so. The Lord is Jealous. So there's a measure of Jealousy which is good. Or, Jealousy  of men is bad, but the best of Jealousy, the best intention, reason, is good. So if you are jealous of your wife being looked at, by anyone, that's good. You don't need to be mad at people, but tell your wife you get Jealous.

See, the threats continue. "IF you want to be here, let me abuse you/." I know this is wrong. No one needs to be abused. You can be alright without abusing anyone.

I worked in a rice factory. When I was there, the Mexican staff approached me in the bathroom. He scowled at me, frowned at me through the mirror. He didn't want me to be there. I was shocked. Here we go again. Another jealous Mexican. What can I do, Lord? Is this ok? Is this how it is. They were talking about don't eat on the truck. Isn't the truck getting my money? Why can't I eat if I'm paying them to be able to? What is this shit in America? I couldn't believe it.

A few weeks later the boss told me it was my last day. I wasn't happy there, but I was happy to have a job. I think the same is here. It's something really not right about the Mexicans. They're listening to something not right, I should say. I care, so I'll investigate briefly, at least internally.

I saw on the news a couple who seemed to have lost their mind, and killed one of their own. I don't know why. The guy who did it, he looked possessed. Like something grabbed hold of him. He killed a brother. Why? Why did he do that? What is the reason? There is no one controlling the building. I love you, Mexicans. Don't get it wrong. But you need to stop kicking people out of the job. All it will take is the wrong person, and then you are through. They will say, "Oh, if you let them in, they will kick you out!" So they won't let you in. Fix it, so this doesn't happen.

There has to be punishment for bad behaviour. Otherwise, you don't get stronger. You get weaker. The chaff. You don't want to be a stick blowing in the wind, do you? You don't want to be like someone who doesn't have any worth do you? You don't want to be like someone who doesn't have any sense do you?

I want to be a good member of my church. Who is this lady I am seeing? Why is she there? What is she doing in my mind? I didn't put her there. She just invited herself. And then others! Why is this, Lord? What have I done? The next thing you know, oh there are lots of us, let's kick him out!

Is this who you made, Lord? Is this the group strength? Is this what Mexicans do? They gang up and kick you out? No. I don't think so. I think they fight because of where they came from. Justice from somewhere. The desert. But the Lord has an answer. The mountains. You will see this Scott sh-- coming underway. You needed to keep it real. You didn't need to front. You need to be honest, who you really are. Because once this Scott.net kicks in, you will be in for a rude awakening. It's not going to be business as usual. It's going to be assignment. If you are assigned a certain role, then are powerful enough to hang. If not, then you have to fight for scraps. The heirarchy will set. There will be  a line between the scraps and the treasure. But to get the treasure, you have to fight through the scraps. It's like, "here's the boss of the scraps. Defeat him, or please him, and you can pass" Now you start making more money. But you are always one step away from the scraps.

That's coming. Lots of people will try tricks and problems. "Oh you're not going to tell me." But yes, you are going to get told. Your tricks are found out. you better act right.

IMarcus, I would have liked to call him. I'd like to see how he's doing. But I haven't been there. Yet another man not fit, coming around. Darn. I don't think he needs that. He needs a stable father. Someone who will be there when  he is 35. Someone to see him get married, drive, have insurance. Make a business deal. His first major purchase. I do need to wash. If I go in the morning, I'll have all the clothes ready. If I go right now, I risk coming in on the Mexican's service. I don't think that's appropriate either. The best thing to do is to stay put.

It's sad, but you'll have to wear the clothes you have. Put on the brown suit. Wear the purple shirt. Face whatever you get for wearingn that. But at least you're there, wearing anything.

PEace to all the people who donate clothes. Peace to all the people who care enough to donate grey hoodies I wear. I like grey. Gray blazer, gray everything. Grey hoodie. Gray drawls. Gray all. But one item gray. Not thei whole wardrobe. You'll look like a bullet tip. That's not sexy. Bullets aren't sexy. They're bullets.

More often than not, there's a gun in your mind. I shot a gun before. I'm a good shot. That's why I don't carry one.

I have my Bible turned to Leviticus. I think if it's there, I can see what purity is about. There was a gunshot when I turned that page. It was church service. Suddenly I hear "pow pow pah pow"  and this was the page it was turned to. So I kept it there.

I also saw the soul of a roach. That's right. A bug I killed the little soul came to me. That was tight. And disgusting. I'd never seen such. But I understand the Spirit of Life is in all things. WE trade forms. I eat, and the food turns into fuel. TThe equipment gets the fuel. I get the excitement. Doesn't make sense to me either.

But alas,  I'm digging hard here. I don't have much to write, and that's why I'm broke. I bet you if I had more to write, I'd be rich by October. I'd be a made man in this world by February. If only I had something to write, something to contribulte. If only I was really meaningful in my approach to writing. If I approacched this skill right, I'd have millions of dollars.

There is something on the internet to do. There is some funds for me to recieve for my service. Some task I can do, not life threatening, that will add to my fortune. My account says zero right now. It won't stay at 0, but it has been a while since I've seen that grey 0.00 in my account. I think it's sad to say, in 34 years, I haven't mastered the zero. Let me get the 1 at least. It's one coming now. In 75 more points. 1.28. All mine.

So there it is. Keep stacking the dollars. More and more and more. 6. 10. 12. 20. 40. 80. 120. 160. 280. 540. 720 . 3000. All from 1.28. Keep stacking, and don't give up. Pace yourself. You want to eat, pay the phone bill, the lights, gas, electric. You want a car. Find a way to multiply service. You put out a message people buyy. You put out something people download for $1. Put out something people read the article for. And click the ad. They visit the page. Look around. See if there's anything they need there. They may find this to be so.

I can look go to your website now. Go on there. Go to tightdad.com. Sounds like abad shaving accident. Like three trees got together and collapsed. Now he's tight. Dad is tight about them trees hitting his car.

So now I see a blank page. "Dad," and everybody else. See, The Mexicans don't wan tyou to win. They want to keep you down. For real. I thought it was just me. Tripping. No, it's a fact. They see you making money, coming up, they want to keep you down. Because they have a way it's supposed to go. But they arent the only people in the world! If you want to be the only group, join the Germans! They want to be only group too! Maybe you can fight it out! Or not.

Now, "Everybody else" What is the button to press play for? Sky. Now this helps. f I keep this on all night, then I'll have something good. That's useful. But it looks like crap. Is there a way to dress this up?

See online, dressing up is cool. Off line, its not always necessary. If I'm selling fruit, a picture of some elf holding the pomegranate isn't going to make me buy one. Unless I have kids. Or unless I really want one. So, not the bathroom, here it is. You dress up. Make the site look nice. Make it look good enough to remember.

When people come back, they remember the sky, and press it, push it. The sky activates. Now, they have something they can secretly hold. Now, that's worth. I have sky in my home, it's something tight about my house. When people come, they feel the love, the light. The life. It's better for me with sky. Thank Lord Jesus cor sky.

What else is on there? Something to buy? I'm not going to buy anything. But click the ad? Why not. It's the least I can do. Bathroom wipe. That's sad. There's tricks and traps set up for men. And you honestly want to go to heaven. Where are you going with tricks and traps?

I hope the Mexicans let me get some food. I am hungry. But I love them regardless. They're always trying to find something against me. I don't know why they don't just love me right. I'm here for you. But not just you. You don't want to respect me, you'll pay for that. You don't prosper without respect. You think it's a small thing, and you swell with pride for disrespecting your brother. Then shame will come. Unless you fix it.

There's a guy named Victor. There's a guy who has one arm working. But both men are tight. It doesn't work like that hermano. You can call shots in your own home. This is The Lord's home. You can call a shot, but so can everyone else. If you don't agree with that, then welcome to America. Hissing on the soil? Why be here then?

We get along. I have 9 more minutes. I don't want you to be sad. BE HAPPY. ACTING RIGHT IS THE ONLY WAY. ALL THIS BAD ACTING SH---. IT'LL GET YOU KILLED. OR, IT'LL MAKE YOU SMALL. ROACHES ARE little.

Small Steve, that's a different small. Brenda is my love. You're mocking me after all you did. You can, but remember, it's coming back on you. We will laugh at you soon.

Small Steve is tight. For life. All the people who helped me. For life. You're all welcome. But the people who are rude, or have reasons to b----- out, then you have to learn respect. When you learn to respect, respect will come to you. It's that simple. No showtime, no move, no method, nothing else. No racing. No scheming. Just do what I told you. Respect.

In the end, you'll realize why. When you have kids running around. And someone comes up to you. You will realize the importance of respect. All men can understand it. Not one can understand disrespect for long.

All this said, enjoy yourself. I'll enjoy myself. May The Lord Bless you eternally. But if you don't heed my warning, about Scott and more, you'll be sorry. Won't that suck.

Lord Bless you.

My goal: "I make a net worth of $9 million dollars by 35."

Ok?

Newer Nuances for neat nice.

Another round of old spice tight. Right on, right? I have no plays for players. Let me get started.

First of all Thank Lord Jesus Christ. I want to Thank God, but I put the Lord first because many n---- I will not name names hard, they use the Lord in vain. They try to take what they did not make. They steal. But then, some do not.

I saw a young man I've seen before. But this time, he was clean. He was fresh cut. He looked good. He looked presentabble, real. He looked like a young man you could do business with. Not me, but someone. I don't think he was out here for me, but he was looking good. Good for him.

A lady came to the church. She was healthy, and thin, She bent over, and reminded me of a wife giving her body to her husband. She was in a position like, "Here, take what you want Daddy." If she was Mommy, I would have.

But she was cool. The pastor came. He showed up and asked for her to leave. I have to close the church up now. I realize it was for the safety of the building. And also, the safety of all the ppeople who rent here. I don't know anything about the money. I just lodge here.

I am thankful to be alive. Grateful rather. I ate a pork sausage. I feel shortchanged in life. I feel like I keep doing the things I need to do, but I keep getting better results. On my routine, someone gave me $40. I appreciated that, but analyzed it to be eithe the Lord blessing me, or saying what I am doing is getting old.

Think of it, the old woman. Why would she be so old? Is it because Baker is in my family? Is it because I need to help her? Is it because she is vulnerable, and I needn't take advantage of her? She's not my wife, but I do care for her. There was another woman like her, a Brown.

This Brown was very clean. She was a virgin. She was stout, she had big tits. She was nice to look upon. But she was a virgin at 50. She didn't look 50, she was pretty, but the whole aim was to get me to come there and sleep with her.

She didn't say this, I did. I just felt it was not appropriate. I don't fornicate. This is right because, I don't want to burn for a piece of booty I could have left on earth. What about Heaven? Are there titties in Heaven? Do big breasts full of sweet milk give themselves to the men there? I hope to know.

What about Brenda's Titties? Don't you want to suck them? Yes, but only if she wants them sucked by me. I don't know how to go about it. She told me to leave her alone, so I'm not a stalker. I don't want to be attracted to someone who doesn't want me around. That would make me a creep, right? Yes it would.

But still, I love her. I don't mind saying that. I say it all the time.

Sister Ada was fussy all day. I mean the whole time. It was on schedule. So was Sister Flint. They are in the game. They don't care if the game is bad. They are in it. They don't care if people steal off the game. They are in it. They wanted to act bad, so see me suffer. Those Browns, they either know the game well and participate, or they put chips in to make it like that. I don't know whose worse - the kids playing it or the people designing different parts of it. Either way, they gotta pay. God don't like ugly.

The best way I can put it is - I love my Moma. I love my family. All the people who held me down - I love you. I wish to hold you down many more times, if it is right. I can hold you down when you are doing good respectable.

So no mics were stolen, nothing was taken, no problems nothing. I do need to take a bath. I smell like roasted roach. I think that's nasty. Plus I have a pinch of rice in the kitchen.

I meant to go get some money today but did not.  I don't think 30 dollars is the reason to travel. I am outgrowing the 30 dollar limit. There was a time that was a lot of money. Now, that is a drop of money. I need at least $350 to feel good about my pockets. I need at least 350 now. I need to make at least $350 a week.

That's not hard to do with a job. But online, you have to do some gymnastic working hard to get that out. You need to know someone, know something, or know where to get something to even quualify.

I remember getting weed with Markeesh. I was with him and some other guys, all while someone was at Brenda's house wearing her out. It makes me mad to think, that while I was innocent hearted, I was among those who had no heart left. They'd been hurt, and they had no intention of looking back. They were free of emotion about what they were doing in the back of that Chinese restaurant.  I was among them, like a fool. But I didn't know.

People might think I'm gay. I'm not. I'm far from gay, don't like dick, not counting my own. I love woman, her body, her curves. I was just so bad with them before. Growing up, I had no way with women, or girls. But they always found they're way into my lap, my shoulder, my heart. They found their way in. So fellas, don't chase women. Get your career and be a good man. She'll come if you're lucky. If you serve God, serve The Lord, do right, and keep it tight, I'm sure you'll find the right one. The Lord Can Place her near.

I think if I ever love again, I'd be miserable to her. I'd treat her good. We'd  have salad. But deep down, I'd want Brenda. I'd want the first woman to kiss me so to actually follow through. Stay the course. Love the man until death. See what the reward is for honor. For loyalty. Why do I have a headache on my right side? Because of dehydration.

I think the people are out to get me. I think the people are against me. Why are they Lord? Why does it feel so good to be rude to me? Why do people get happy for trying to make my life a percentage harder? What have I done to deserve this? I'm sure I've done something.

I may have missed the point when Sister Ada, I love Carolyn, the whole church too, gave Sister Flint the cookie. Why did she give it away to her and not me? Why did she give her the cookie and not me? Is it something I did.

Finally, Minister Brown said something to Sister Ada, and I found out Sister Ada was gone. Minister Brown also seems to dislike me. She seems to want to insult me. I am tired of this, Lord. Can it be stopped?

My goal: I make a net worth of $9 million dollars by 35.

In the NAme of The Most Holy Lord Jesus Christ I pray, Amen.

You realize it's just flesh if it ain't love.

I know nothing. This is the teaching I have. Yet, Lord, you realize it's just flesh if you don't love her. I do love her, so it's not just flesh.

I sit in the sanctuary/ Perhaps I should sit somewhere closer to the door, which I have now.

I put the clothes out for the yard sale. We call it Yard activity now. It's called yard activity for some other reason, so I won't get into thaqt here.

Instead, I'm going to ask you, even show a trivia - can you name all 50 stateS?

You don't have to asnswer that, but it's a trivia. Thanks Mexicans. Lord, You Dis a good job with our Black PEople.

What's going to be on the playlist? Where will you use this pencil?

As I walked outside, I saw a pencil. I don't know whose it is, but it's a pencil I plan to use. On what I don't know.

The old lady spit out a donut. It wasn't a donut she liked. I got the impression we would be fast friends. But like anything fast, it doesn't last long.

She has a nice big house full of crap. I don't know how much is in there, but it's a lot. If someone came in there to clean, it'd take about a day. 24 full hours to work. I love Brenda still. Don't worry about that. I really do love her.

But I'm tripping! She said to leave her alone. I'd be a fool not to. I don't want to go to jail.

Jail wipe is tight, but sad. Why do you have to do it? For some people. They won't learn unless you do. I learned this. I sure love Los Angeles.

The bottom line of faith with the good Saturday Morning is this - you got to get along. Get along with life. The Lord Gave You. So live with it. You know you love her. Give her some space to learn. Don't give IN to the game. Just learn to navigate life as you already have.

I like the strides you are making with your meditation. You're doing good with that. Keep up the good work and you will see. There is more to life than meets the eye. Or the ear. Or any sense by itself. IF you are still regarding senses alone, then you are still learning those senses. You are learning to hear. Learning to see. LEarning to feel. You are learning.

Once you have learned, you can touch the gate more accurately. Come to think of it, you need people to excite your prostate. To touch your scrotum. To append your vein. I know you Love Brenda. She loves oyu, ithe Church sanctuary. The organ. The mixer. The seats where the staff sits. All of this is in the Church.

Holding the gate is sacred. You laugh and say, this is just a gate. This is a gate Rev. Threadgill touched. He touched the gate. He was there. This is like reporting.

Pat Harvey is fine. For a reporter. Brenda is fine. For a woman. Ha, I don't know why I laughed. IT's the scenery. I'm here typing in a church. Is this a sin? I hope not, because I want to keep typing.

I remember Jackie, and Dad. Dad was a nMexican man. From Monterrey. I don't know if that's true, but that's what I think about him. If I'm wrong, I apologize. No sense in talking about where someone is from if you don't know.

But this man has a gorgeous wife. And two gorgeous kids. One of thesm is married now, and the other one I don't know. I think by now, someone got to her. She had big tits when I saw her.

But still, Brenda. I don't want to get in trouble. Why and how, Lord. The woman said leave...

"Be with it."

What does that mean, Lord? Does it mean be with the game, with the program.

"With her ways."

Ok, does this mean witchcraft? Things I don't like? Going away from the home to worship, but not Lord Jesus Christ?

"Put them."

So it's a cupboard thing? It's like putting some things in the cabinet. You do this you do that, I love you, I forgive, but I don't agree. You don't have to be forced to Snow White me, but you love Lord, mme enough to show I care. I love you. EI want you. I need you to be here to squeeze in the morning. And put my penis in.

I think all that for a few moments to hang with ladies is fine. It might be more than that, but I love her yet and still. And "it's not witchcraft." Ok. I won't contest you. I love you. Give me a kiss.

I have this pencil from the ground. What do I do with it, Lord. Keep it. and write with it. Do calculations with it. Do tallies with it, like write all you did. Then, store it. Put it somewhere you won't lose it. Put it in the altar somewhere.

I have a feeling the Tates will be using that closet again. I don't want to help myself to the space I didn't earn. I didn't put chocolate bars on the hampers in the early days. I didn't fry chicken to raise money. I didn't eat cheese without fish that one time. I wasn't there.

I was here. I am here now. Awaiting Sister Ada. Is she coming? What happened? Let me find out she's not coming. I'll lock the gate and have the yard sale another time. I'd rather do that than do it myself. Two people at least for the yard sale. I thought alson online. Can you sell the clothes online? Can you, piece by piece, put the items on ebay, or offer up? Can you make money that way? Sell the clothes for little to nothing, and charge shipping. Whatever you don't sell today, do it like that.

But how will you get the clothes out?

Set the store up and call a meeting. Show the people the store and explain you are selling the items online. Use the tablet to demonstrate the site.

Take a screenshot. Make sure they can't touch it. When they look. Then they will see. "Oh, ok." That's how, then you ask who will take the orders to Amazon.

Who will deliver the orders to the post office? You probably. Thank you, streets. Thank You. 

Mi imprint will still be here

Because I care about the people, and I care about the neighbors. I care. The Lord Cares.

We care for you. But there are those who don't.

You didn't make a fuss about the roaches in the Church. You made a fuss about the roaches in your clothes. You didn't want roaches in your clothes, and didn't want to take the risk of them beingin there. So you made up a story about the rest of the church being effected.

Stop using my shit and putting it back on me. Like I'm a dummy or someone who doesn't know any better. I think youought to be ashamed of yourself, seeing the way you carry on.

You know better.

I helped a lady today. I picked her up, and felt good about it. It's the first time I've held a woman in quite a while. I don't think I'll be holding her too often, for she might want to give me head.

Which I'd refuse. She's 81.

But still in all, I got $40. And juice, and donuts. I feel good about that. I don't feel particularly good about having to deflect the nonsense of people. Why do they do this, in the store. Why do they come against me, in the market? What have I done to deserve this? Nothing.

It was this old game of "Get the black" for free. Get the black people's stuff and use it on them, for free. They're not stupoid, but we'll act like they are. And we are better than them. I don't agree with that. We are smart. I am smart. I know I am smart, I know I am powerful. I know The Lord Loves me. I know that much. But I know nothing.

This I have been taught by Mr. Banfield. Years ago, I learned to be humble. By the way, take a bath. When you wash your a--, maybe you'll have a better understanding.

I don't understand. I am not going to fall in line with madness. You brought that riggity ragged sh-- here. But I'm not into that. I don't think we need to be into that here.

Bottom line there is that you have a little time left to use my power against me. As I improve, you'll give more and more back. Until finally, you give it all back. To Lord, to me, and to yourself. Youwere stealing because your self esteem was low.

Brenda, I hope she is ok. I love her, but she told me to go. I harp, but at one time, it was all about that. Now, I must relax. I can't find a new one. There is no new Brenda.

I don't know what to do there, Lord. Pray, yes, I'll do that. I'll pray until my heart stops. If I love her, I don't think it has to.

I'll bathe, I'm scratching now. I like to get man-dirty. Showing the Lord I still got it. I can still get down. I can still handdle. I'm not all sugar free yet. I can still work and buff a sweat.

The Backyard has a tree in it that needs to be cut down. Now I don't think I need to cut down the tree. Instead, I'll clean around the tree, and then hire someone else to come in and cut the tree. After all, the right equipment makes it all right.

But what about the people coming and putting their imprint. They come and put their tag, and they want you to pay for it. More get the black stuff. Why do they do this Lord?

I'm tired of worrying about it. I think if people want to disrespect others to get paid, they need to really think about their future. We're on Earth for a while, then we leave. Where will you go?

I hope Heaven. I hope I go to Heaven too. There may be people who don't want me to go. But I still hope to go to Heaven when I die.

But having said that, on the EArth here now, without Brenda sucks. It sucks becuase I love her. But I've been talking this love sh-- for a while. If it's really true, where's the money? Where is the career? Where is the car? Where is the house? Where are the keys? Where is luxury?

It's here. In the mind. In Lord's eyesight. In the advantage of Lord Jesus Christ. He knows how it's supposed to go.

If I had a job, I couldn't help the old lady. Patricia Baker. I wouldn't have been there to pick her up off the floor.

I am glad to have done that. Ms. Baker isn't the only one I have helped. I remember there was a building full of just every kind of miscellaneous they had out. It was madness. And the man lived like a rat. But he was from the Military.  He knoew better. He was trained well.

I see the nature of man. People don't want to respect, don't want to love. But they want love, they want respect. Where will it come from, if  you don't want to give it?

I know The Lord. I remember Leslie, who is on TV now, gave me some weed to help her move. She also taught me to drive, by letting me borrow her car. This was the first time I drove.

Lemme tell you this story for the night. I was with Devon, and I played the guitar in front of his Father's Black, meth smoking neighbor. I knew it was meth, but I don't know how. I just know now. Maybe it wasn't, but that's what I remember about the man.

So as I was playing lousy guitar, the Black man was applauding my effort, saying things like "Yea,", and sh--. Devon's Dad had been playing for 30 years. He was in a band. I couldn't hold a lick. But the Black man supported.

Now, I am asleep. Suddenly, I hear Devon's Dad scream out "Nooo!!!" and SLAM the door. Glass above my head shattered. If the glass shards had fallen on me, I could have gotten cut, or pierced. I was unhurt by the grace of God. No glass even touched me. This was at 5am.

I hauled a-- out of there. I got the f---- on that morning. And I drove back to Leslie's house. This was the first time I got on the freeway.

I have a lot of embarrasing moments in life I am ashamed of. Like a funeral I did a video for and lost. To this day, I am indebted to the family. I am afraid for when their Grandmother dies, I don't want them to seek revenge on me. VBut I cannot be afraid. The people may want bloodshed, but not their house.

And if they want it, that's where it's coming first. It's coming to visit them, who want it.

Lord, forgive those who trespass against me. You Alone know the ways of man. What is right and what is not.  You aalone know what it correct. I cannot speak for others. But I know I havew done wrong, and I apologize. Ms. Skinner says I am "not sorry" I apologize. I am not a sorry man.

And I'm not sorry. I am a good man. I have been told this. I shall claim it.

I don't know what the hold up is with the people, why they don't this or that. But it only matters to you. Each of us had to seek our own salvation. I can't make you act right. You can't make me avct wrong.

Those people have to answer to The Lord for what they did. They had no right to talk to me in that way. They spoke to me out of decency. But they caught themselves. Because they knew, when the gavel pressed, they would be guilty. There was no problem until they got here.

Then suddenly. So just as suddenly there is not. There will be no problem here. This is a church. This is not a home, a shop, a gas station, a kick it spot, a rest stop. This is The House of The Lord.

We all know this. We reach for what is familiar, but hold contempt for it. Why? BBecause we are afraid.

We are afraid to change. I am afraid to do my best because, if I do my best, then I will see what I have. If I delude myself, If I tell myself I am progressing, I am working, when really I am not, then at least I feel like I am working. But when your stomach is growling, then you'll see you were really not doing any work. You growl, and a good man will not steal, but earn. A bad man will slick his hair, and steal.

He will see who has the berries. Who has fruit they picked. He will eat their fruit, if they let him.

I snatched lightly a bowl of pasta from the lady at the market. I wasn't mad, I was clowning. But it was in response to her rudeness. She was running the gavel on me. She was listening to signals from other Mexicans in the store. They were telling her and she was responding to them about me. I walked up, and she was going to put me in my place. "You Black" it seemed. So I took control. I took back control of the moment. You can't get my sh-- and use it against me like I am a slave. Like, "We can do this and there's nothing you can do about it." I hate that behavior.

It's not right. Why do you feel I can't do anything about you? What are you doing I can't do anything about? Why do you need me if you don't want to respect? Why don't you respect and learn more?

When we respect, we learn more. Who will teach you the secrets if you will betray them? Do you have to betray? Is is it a sexual thing? Does it get you off to be rude to me? Does it excite you? Does it make your man feel more pride? What is it? I know the answer is not something I will hear unless you're down to be real.

I have to be real. I was taught this.

Willie Webster taught me this. I ditched school, and he lectured me for three hours. He talked to me about being real, not lying, having respect. How hard they work, what it takes to make it, being a real Black man. He gave me three precious hours of his time. And all I gave him was a lie. I feel like a sore loser now that I think of it.

I deserve what I get then. If I do better, I'll get better.

Take better care of your life. You'll see things change quickly. I love you for listening. I have more to write, but I'll save it for the other blogs. There are more.

I like to vent here. I feel like The Lord is allowing me to speak my peace. I don't need war. I need peace to operate. Others, they are leeches. They don't have the ability, or the authority to lead. They've stolen it all. It is only in my triumph I will see triumph at all. For the thief has no substance.

I hope they get it together. I have no threat for them. There is no warning, no "You better not" moment. I pray for them now:

Each soul, Let them know You, Lord.

In the Name of Lord Jesus Christ I pray,

Amen.

In all labor there is profit.

My goal to reach:
I make a net worth of $9 million dollars by 35."