Hush your mouth on that!

I said this to a fine black woman, no, a military ass black man. I'm sorry to say it like that Lord, but the man was Black and acting like a butt. Those two don't go together. That's like fish and cereal, what are you doing that for?

I was in some room, and I said something to the woman earlier. I don't think it was much, maybe hi. When I commented on her beauty, she was fine, she had big titties, and was wearing black, like lingerie. I said "you are so beautiful" and she got mad. I got mad back. Something like "hold on I wasn't trying to mack you" Then another Black man stood up in the crowd, we were ina room of people, like a ballroom.

The black man said something and I said "hush your mouth on that!" Then I woke up. That's a phrase I will use throughout life. That may be my catchphrase, like "LEt's go". Let's go is like "They're great" from tony the tiger. The cereal chara - alright.

Another segment had my mother and I ina warzone like timesplitters 2. I was in a high tower with her. We were not being shot at. But to our right, there were droves of people getting mowed down. Pretty hard. There was a figure ina master chief like suit just blasting. Whoever they were, they were like a statue, just pumping the crowd. I was like "Are we in danger" to myself. My mother locked the locks. "You just want to go outside" I said, thinking we would be seen and get shot. No, were safe. Before, I saw in the distance a white man with green shorts on.

The white man seemed to be under arrest. As he was getting arrested, I said in my mind for him to surrender. "So you don't get killed" I remember thinking. The nex thing I know, this guy is no longer the victim, but all the aggressors, the people to arrest him, were mowed down. It was day time. I was like wow.

Finally, there was some sequence where we were sitting outside during the day, me and someone else, at a parking meter. Just hanging out. I had the feeling we didn't know what we were going to do with our lives, still. Then there was some girl, I think a latina, she was supposed to hang out with us. She didn't. Instead, she walked to some phone booth behind us. I then walked over there into some small burger shack.

I heard people ordering food, but was unsure of where it was being cooked. I saw there some asian women, like on the brisk between Asian and indian, some indigenous people. Two women. Apparently, they had been arguing with someone, on the other end of the burger order and were clowning the situation. "Bye" I heard one say to the other. It's like they were getting off work. Suddenly, one of Abraham's customers appears. He sold me some shoes one time. The shoes were the best fitting shoes I had ever worn. But they only lasted like a week. Then they fell apart. The sole as fine, but the shoes just tore all up. I wanted another pair, but they were not cheap. He was to the right of me.

I didn't order a burger because they looked kind of wierd. There was even a bathroom that I did not walk into. I saw a woman's face like "Nuh uh. Don't walk in there." So I didn't. I listened.

I have a feeling Brenda is jealous. But of what? Is it really real she loves me and is keeping up with me? Or am I just tripping, and it's the Mexicans helping me cope? Which one is it Lord? May I have an answer? Do I need one?

I need this money. I have 118 on the giftloop. I need 300 for $15. The other SJ is 533. I need 1000 for $10. How pathetic. Yet, that's the money I need to earn. I think $25 is a good hit, but today is it going? I need the money by Saturday because I have to cash out again. I have food, but I need the money still. If I cash out, then I can also pay for the Video next week. I need to film each time I go, because otherwise it's gay. It's a waste of time.

I call it gay because why else would I go 20 miles for 5 minutes. That sounds like a homosode to me doesn't it?

Alex Paris, I used to go visit him. I used to spend time at his house, and even walk there from where I was staying. I remember then, I used to do that. Ifind his apartment and go visit him. I didn't go there to be gay. But I love him. If he was a woman, we would have hooked up.

But that's about as gay as it got for me. Just visiting. Not going 20 miles either. So I can't do that anymore.

Each time, I go like I'm a well paid, well known comedian. Going to help the people one more time. and I want it filmed. Will the Mexican and the Russian actually do their job? Like I need to do mine right now?

Lord please let me make this money today. I'm sure tired of being broke or close to it every week. This is week two and my cash out is still below $100. Will people buy my albums? Are they that bad?

Lord.

I dreampt of a church

While I was standing atop a hill. It was a Big brown cross and it was in front of me slightly to the left. The kind of church building where the cross is woven in.

I also was in a well furnished grey house. A home with lots of new furniture. Otttomans, and a woman who was light skinned. She was to my left. In front of me, to my right slightly, there was a man with a great big chest. He was black, and has a large chest. I saw the lightskinned woman was wearing a white shirt. I think there were more people, another woman specifically.

Then at some other point, I, or a woman, was driving a car down a car garage. It's like I'm going around the loop of my mind, a twist downward, and to the left or right. I'm not sure now. I'm sure it was a car garage.

Last night I might have gotten into some trouble. Let me tell you why, I talked bad about Reverend Brown in FRONT of the PASTOR, and his wife. I didn't mean to do that like that, and I even apologized afterwards. It just came out of me. I said they "challenged me" and that "God" Took them another direction. When they get back it will not be like that, I said. Where I got the heart to say this, I don't know.

Still, I taught Bible study also. I was even afraid afterwards, for the retribution of what I said. I don't think it was wrong, but I think it was something wrong about fronting them on stage. I could have kept that to myself and been just fine.

I won't do that again. I lead the Bible Study also. I got some of it on tape. I was glad to have the chance. I did ok. They said "Good job". I think also they are rooting for Reverend Brown. They want him to be the hero, the one, the winner. He looks the part. But it's my substance. What do I do Lord?

I remember seeing Reverend Brown do a speaking event flawless. Got out of the car, and went in there. He just went and spoke, and commanded the attention. He was used to the crowd. He is a good performer. This is why God Blessed him. He knows the show must go on.

So I have respect for him. But he must not challenge me. Those who challenge me have all been taught a lesson. Some people did not get hurt. I didn't get hurt, so I don't know why they'd be harmed. Yet, some were, in some fashion. Maybe not physical hurt, but they had to go out of the way. An inconvenience. Isn't it inconvenient to gank me? Don't you feel I'd want to taste some power too?

But you have to think also. What would I do? Would I do anything if I knew I had power? Would I not do anything? Imagine I wasn't here. Imagine life and nver having the juice spread out. No one getting it, no movies, no presidents, no bosses, no children. No teachers. No one getting the power. No latino. No one getting the power and spreading it around. No Markeesh. No Abraham. No Reverend Brown. No one doing any of that. No Snoop. No Dre. No one. No Ice Cuube. No one. All of it comes from me. No Tupac. No one.

Why did The Lord Do This? Why did he give one child so much power and autthority? To make it clear. To demonstrate, you must not think there is a face to power. There is no face, only acts. Who shall commit deeds is endowed indeed. Who shall say, "I will help" will be rewarded. Perhaps not in the same fashion, manner as I. For my deeds are rippling past generations now.

Having found the Lotus Sutra, I am immensely grateful. Yet, The Lord foundded this. Having created those who wrote it!

I am indebted to The Lord for His Blessing. I am a full grateful man. I have no other choice, or desire, than to serve The Lord with gladness, and supply Him with laughs. Perhaps I am a comedian after all, who has shared the stage of life with God for a long time. I have years to go, I hope, and may The Good Lord Bless me as I take the stage also. It is mine, and I have to work on it.

The stage is a laboratory. For 5 minutes. There are no other stagehands with me, so I must carry the message as clean as possible. I said "crisp" at the podium. I didn't mean to gank Eddie Griffin. But I did. I am no better than any other man. I apologize to Eddie Griffin also. I don't like to gank other men at all.

I like to be original. This is because Original doesn't run out. When you get low, you make more. You are original. No one else has your power commanded quite like you do. I love Brenda. This is eternal. I love her always, like hallways and furniture. I love this chair.

Can my gratitude be financed? Giftloop and SJ and Cat and even, well those are the three that pay. the other ones, let's see if they pay at all. I deleted giftloop before because I thought it deleted Paypal. I have a pet peeve briefly about White people or anyone not Black, not wanting me to win. Since I'm Black, I see there is a bias, and also a shortchange in almost all of society I know about.

I remember Deacon Paylor driving me to Brenda's house, and I stayed for 5 minutes. I was a fool. I can truly say. Lanicia was looking like an Indian Princess God woman, and I was acting stupid. Here they were trying to learn about me, and I was trying to get away because of something stupid. Lord, may they forgive me.

Lord.

I slipped up.

Lord please forgive me. I juacked off this morning. To some big breasts getting sucked. I love that. Sucking the big tits. That's my hard.

But why? Because it's so much food, that's why. I like to eat. Sharing tits, no. All mine. I don't share tits. That's forbidden. Each nipple is mine. She belongs to me. There is no other she belongs to. "Nobody but you" The best part of the song.

I cannot believe some of the things I said before. I need to be clean. A clean comedian, that would be good. The rush of conflict, no more among the people. I know we can do better than that. Especially with mine on the line. Who convinces you they are better? No one. I can't believe all this time Lord that I fell for it. I fell for people trying to be better than me, out think me. It's actually impossible.

I think the reason Peyton's GIRLFRIEND is there is because I let them. This was a way for Derrick's GIRLFRIEND to get in there also. The family from California. I need to get in his nuts. Why? Because we're not from California. It's not podunk, but it's like, "who are you?"

I can't get mad, though. I don't get mad like I used to. Pharell wearing a dress, I guess he lived up to his name. Like in the Bible clowning. "His name is Nabal". Let it be like his name. What a name, Nabal. Shoenail, that's his name. That's what we'll call our kid. Shoenail.

I am not gay, for the recond. I don't have gay ways, or tendencies. and I'm not against gay people. I'm against people spreading it out. It is a perversion, a virus, and it is wrong. Stop trying to teach toddlers about it.

Giftloop
SJ
Atta
Amazon
Zap
Cat

Those are a cluster I can do continuously for the whole setting, stage. Each day is a stage. I don't think this is the level, because I'm not making more than $50 dollars a day yet. Whatever I feel, it's my body. I can't deny my body, how I feel. The little girl said keep the nut. I kept it that night. Is that counted? I hope so. I don't want to nut on the little girl's back. I thought about it, I'm not gonna lie. I thought about her laying and licking my balls. I did. But I don't think that's going to happen. I love Brenda. I love Big tits. That's the point here. I love sucking the big tits.

If you get $50 a day, then you can call it the level. Right now, it's stage 8. The goal of any stage is to make it to $50. Zap pays $25. You have the gambling, which I am almost ashamed of, but it pays real money. I have one that pays little monies, but you need $40 to cash out. If I do all the 100 you get, maybe I'll get $40. Fourty dollars one time is good. I think that's worth doing. I can knock that out today.

I don't feel bad for deleting the app. I watched, to get that 40, at least 100 ads. It's not like I didn't sit there and watch ads. I did watch. I haven't made the $40 yet, but at least it's a thought.

I saw the guy at Wells Fargo, and I thought that was legitimate. One time, I'll do that. I'll cash out one time.

I think ATMS will take Paypal by the fall. They are missing out on $3.

I saw Abraham in a place like a different shop. It was multi colors. I saw Tony on the sidewalk near the gate of the church. He attacked me or something, so I attacked back. I grabbed his head or something. It was dark. He was dark. It was like a big jelly bean goop. I don't know why it was like that. But Abraham was in some shop, and I was working with him there. It was likehe was still in control, or trying to hold onto control. That's my brother, not my master. The shop master sure, at his shop. But in this dream, it wasn't there, it was somewhere else.

There were women there too. Some of the same women who used to come to the shop. It was like "You're outgrowing this shop experience. You're moving on, you're strong enough now." I appreciate that. He might also be saying, or even Cheree, that I have outgrown the shop altogether and he was trying to gather me again. I suppose had I nutted last night, I'd be back in the same boat again.

But furthermore in the dream, there wasa  tree of collard greens. A whole tree of collards. I knew it was them because of the leaves. I suppose God was telling me what to get to eat.  The tree was in the same position as the other tree of kale. I didn't know it was kale then, but now I realize it was kale.

The whole dream was dark. I was also like boxerish, if that makes sense. I was willing to fight, in this darkness. But it was dark because I didn't have the nutrients to keep it bright. So you need vitamins and nutrients to keep your life bright.

You may always clown. But when you are healthy and clowning, that's healing. When you go on stage, be healthy and clown. Even marijuana has nutrients. Did you know that?

Lord.

May I make $2500 per month online now.

Whatever is popular

And that's fine. You got to belong to something. I belong to a church.

My mother wants her sister. That's the issue there. I won't call it a problem, because it could be me.

I had a dream I was playing basketball, and a little girl came on the court. I shot the ball I think at least 3 times, and missed each one. I even reverse shot the ball through the basket, hoping to score a gravity shot. Nope. Layup laid out. The court was brown, inside a gymnasium.

I was playing or dribbling with a group of men. I don't know if all of them were bblack, but at least one of them was. There was another part to the dream but I don't remember. I just remember sucking at basketball. But the highlight was the little girl.

She was black, and had a pink striped shirt on. She might have been my daughhter. She has pony tails in her hair, and I think red berretts. Not sure about the last one.

I see the opposition is much like a boxing match. You will face some for the reason of sport. It is to encourage you. Thanks Lord.

I drank some water at night, I woke up. I heard my insides sizzle. I said this is dehydration." There is no other word for this bubbling here.

I am getting this routine down. I think I am blessed. Lord, Thank You. This is day 7, and I still want some weed. But yYou're The Weed. You're The Chronic, Lord.

I think making a living on the internet is possible for Julius Donelle McClendon. I think Julius D. can make at least $2500 a month without selling insurance. Unless they have the link.

I'm thinking of making a page, talking, having videos, and then having the link tucked in a "click here" part. The link will lead to a Bit.ly, and then to the actual link itself to the affiliate. Do I get paid per click? Do I get paid per action? Which one? I do get paid, is all I'm saying.

I think if I start on that next week, it'll be because I mastered making $20 a day online. I want to master that. If you make $20 and spend maybe $7, you have a winner there.

All you need to do is get the sauce from the store. That's all you need to do. Get the sauce and keep it near. Then when you want get fancy, have sundried tomatoes and garlic rub. Fancy for garlic bread and dried tomato sauce origins.

I think you Love Me Lord. I don't plan on stopping any time soon. I'll do my best each day, because the wall is forming behind me. Niggaz are coming up with creative ways. They have methods to pull you back in the barrel, those in there. I have noodles on. I better go check them so I can help the niggaz.

Lord.

I mean not even showing up

Whar in the world is going on?

Reverend Brown and his wife are not here at The Church. Why? Do I need to know? Do I want to know? No. I really don't want to know why. Instead, I hope they are safe. If they died, may they go to heaven. There was a suffering man indeed.

He came from the era of ganking. 2019 was the last year. There's no more respect for ganking. Its just travesty now. Its an excuse not to be right.

I saw a white woman on the way to church. And a g'd up Mexican also. I thought they were against me, but I find they were not. I ask for their forgiveness Lord. I don't know what happened. I guess "the game" moved them. Sister Flint says The Holy Spirit. We'll see.

I am at a loss for words on that. Its all tbe emotions. All the nights of rudeness, of fighting. The crying, the bickering. When he got in a mood thDr arguing tbe bickering. The throwing his hand up at me. "I'm through with you."

"This is not your home" I said. Its not. Its a Church. This is God's Home.

I am glad to be a servant. I could have neen dead. I am very much alive. Thanks To The Lord. He sent many great people my way.

We want credit, but give The Lord credit first. He Will Give all the credit.

Lord.

Of course killer whale.

The sea likes me. I can tell by the killer whale in the pool. A self explanatory measure. The message read, I am with you. I swam mext to the killer whale. It appeared on my left. In the pool, I used some dort of bouy thing. It was like a kid's floaty toy. I used this toy to float. It was yellow with black handles. It had some sort of design on there also.

Before, I was using some multi color float toy, but with no handles. I didn't quite know what was happening, except I had to float. I swam and the whale was friendly, but I was scared.

I thought the whale would eat me. It didn't. It instwad swam near me in a friendly manner. But I was still scared. I didn't want to fall in or drown. I remember this.

When I woke up, i am here at ny mother's house. I come for one day, and we war, watch a movie and clean up. What a night. It started qith fush amd ended with cat litter.

On the way here we went tobthe fishvplace. The order was written, and in pen someone touched my butt. I know they did, I can feel it. So it was like trying to control. So eager to control me. Wanting mme to fail or just gwt in place. The dish place is called "Angel". In there, the Latino working got into a small argument. About what I don't know. I sat with my mother.

When we got the fish, it was like my mother was negative. But she's flaking off. The badness is wearing. Its not used to taking this good ass whooping of positivity. I delight in knowing God Is In Control.

I ate the fish in the living room of my mother's house. Am glad to be here. Not interested in the haters any more. I used to be thoroughly concerned. Now, I'm about as concerned as a rabbit. I can hop around it now. 

The bed Im in is in the middle room. I spend many nights here. I am glad the house is still standing. The yard all of this belongs to the family.

My mother said something about section 8 low income housing. I got offended. If I can work then I don't need that. Someones hand out, why do I need that. Game food why do i need that? Why do need someone else to pay for me. Let me Lord figure it out. I xan figure out how to win. I xan figure out how to earn a living. I'm not concerned about people following my steps now. Sabotaged" haters, people who would be hurdling me, I forgive them. This is no rave to the finish, my life. This is once in forever.

The internet is the frontier. I have skills I will list now. This is the toolkit I'm starting with:

Sky
Flail
MLB
MLM
MLD
CAT
SJ
LUCKY CHARMS
AMAZON
HTML
Css a while bit.

Lord.

I like how the nigga said "music".

You don;t have to steal. you can be inspired. It's like having a happy meal. you don't have McDonald's on your lips, do you? No you have a happy meal you bought. What sense does that make? I don't know, you tell me. But I won't leave it there. I had a dream, let me tell you about it.

All I know is, there was a girl there. Some woman. That's it. She was Black. But I don't know who she was. I was horny, I know that. I have to resist. The reason is because after I splack, there is no child in a womb. There is no pregnancy without a mother. There is no child without my wife. I'm not going to do all this, just nut and that's alright sh at 35. There's no way you can waste your splack any more.

Let me tell you what's not a waste - really passionate abandon. There's a jackpot if you wait. If you just hold out, not like a game, where you deny your feelings, but like a ritual, where you observe respect for your loins. You don't go all out with your body. You just give a little bit at a time, and enjoy the feeling of power over your flesh. Then, one day you will have your moment, if your wife is not near. You will enjoy a good release.

Mind you I am Julius Donelle McClendon. I have the dash. I have funny. I have compassion. I have honor. TThese things I have. They cannot be bought unless I package them. They cannot be stolen. They can only be earned, or given at birth.

The Dash is given at birth. Nipsey Hussle had the dash. Ermias Asghedom had the dash, nigga. He was dashing around, had a dashing personality. Was able to dash. The best of his class. He was a great soul. He was a pharoah before. Under the ocean, in a Ecco Chamber, is the item now. You may see for yourself. But I cannot verify my thoughts.

He might have ganked the Dash from Me. I have it since Birth. The dash is an immutable quality. No one can match you. You cannot be beaten. You are strong, you are agile, able, and wise. The Lord Is With you. Yet, you are to be growing, like the rest of life. You are no better, and are humbled by this.

As I was trying to get to sleep, a cat seemed to infiltrate my nuts. Now, I am no cat. I may have feline tendencies, but a man you see. Yet, the cat was able to talk to me. I fantasized about making love to Brenda. This is wierd creepy since she told me to move on. Get away, restraining order. All of that. I'm not certain going against such words is wise. So I did not, and did listen to her. Yet I still fantasize. Still want to suck those titties. Still want to make love to her. To show her I love her. So that she can feel better. I know where she's at, she not having fun. She may lie, front, and be a soldier for her choice. She made her bed kind of thing. But she still needs to clown. That's her nature.

I know because I am a clown. A natural clown, did you know that? A phenomenon of Lynwood. Wow. Someone real who can clown. Who knows about down. Who knows what is up. And who is committed To the Lord Jesus Christ. This is the marking of God Uon the Earth. Not that I'm God, but that God Is Using me to work here.

Let's go to work now, speaking of which. I have to make this 4 to get the 30, so I can go to the store and pull out 20 something, and then I can eat and pay my tithes. I scrape along now, but make no mistake, I'm learning new sh each day. One of these days, I'm going to put up a web page like I said. I'm going to design. One day:

I design my website right tight with might, and

I upload 3 pages a day,

2 sales pages,

1 clown page, where I just clown and act stupid.

2 business pages, one clown page a day. So at the end of the year, it's like 300 pages up. Then I'll see if I earn or not.

I'll have two paths, marked by a splash page. The splash page will be like "welcome to Tightdad.com. Then you'll be like "Which way to go?" The dad way, or the lesson way.

It's DAD

It's LESSON.

LESSON is all nice and high class.

DAD is depth. Each page has a linking to another page deeper inside. So you'll be like 300 pages deep. Guess where all the clowi

There then you will feel a surge of pride and intensity. so there it is. You don't w