Of course killer whale.

The sea likes me. I can tell by the killer whale in the pool. A self explanatory measure. The message read, I am with you. I swam mext to the killer whale. It appeared on my left. In the pool, I used some dort of bouy thing. It was like a kid's floaty toy. I used this toy to float. It was yellow with black handles. It had some sort of design on there also.

Before, I was using some multi color float toy, but with no handles. I didn't quite know what was happening, except I had to float. I swam and the whale was friendly, but I was scared.

I thought the whale would eat me. It didn't. It instwad swam near me in a friendly manner. But I was still scared. I didn't want to fall in or drown. I remember this.

When I woke up, i am here at ny mother's house. I come for one day, and we war, watch a movie and clean up. What a night. It started qith fush amd ended with cat litter.

On the way here we went tobthe fishvplace. The order was written, and in pen someone touched my butt. I know they did, I can feel it. So it was like trying to control. So eager to control me. Wanting mme to fail or just gwt in place. The dish place is called "Angel". In there, the Latino working got into a small argument. About what I don't know. I sat with my mother.

When we got the fish, it was like my mother was negative. But she's flaking off. The badness is wearing. Its not used to taking this good ass whooping of positivity. I delight in knowing God Is In Control.

I ate the fish in the living room of my mother's house. Am glad to be here. Not interested in the haters any more. I used to be thoroughly concerned. Now, I'm about as concerned as a rabbit. I can hop around it now. 

The bed Im in is in the middle room. I spend many nights here. I am glad the house is still standing. The yard all of this belongs to the family.

My mother said something about section 8 low income housing. I got offended. If I can work then I don't need that. Someones hand out, why do I need that. Game food why do i need that? Why do need someone else to pay for me. Let me Lord figure it out. I xan figure out how to win. I xan figure out how to earn a living. I'm not concerned about people following my steps now. Sabotaged" haters, people who would be hurdling me, I forgive them. This is no rave to the finish, my life. This is once in forever.

The internet is the frontier. I have skills I will list now. This is the toolkit I'm starting with:

Sky
Flail
MLB
MLM
MLD
CAT
SJ
LUCKY CHARMS
AMAZON
HTML
Css a while bit.

Lord.

I like how the nigga said "music".

You don;t have to steal. you can be inspired. It's like having a happy meal. you don't have McDonald's on your lips, do you? No you have a happy meal you bought. What sense does that make? I don't know, you tell me. But I won't leave it there. I had a dream, let me tell you about it.

All I know is, there was a girl there. Some woman. That's it. She was Black. But I don't know who she was. I was horny, I know that. I have to resist. The reason is because after I splack, there is no child in a womb. There is no pregnancy without a mother. There is no child without my wife. I'm not going to do all this, just nut and that's alright sh at 35. There's no way you can waste your splack any more.

Let me tell you what's not a waste - really passionate abandon. There's a jackpot if you wait. If you just hold out, not like a game, where you deny your feelings, but like a ritual, where you observe respect for your loins. You don't go all out with your body. You just give a little bit at a time, and enjoy the feeling of power over your flesh. Then, one day you will have your moment, if your wife is not near. You will enjoy a good release.

Mind you I am Julius Donelle McClendon. I have the dash. I have funny. I have compassion. I have honor. TThese things I have. They cannot be bought unless I package them. They cannot be stolen. They can only be earned, or given at birth.

The Dash is given at birth. Nipsey Hussle had the dash. Ermias Asghedom had the dash, nigga. He was dashing around, had a dashing personality. Was able to dash. The best of his class. He was a great soul. He was a pharoah before. Under the ocean, in a Ecco Chamber, is the item now. You may see for yourself. But I cannot verify my thoughts.

He might have ganked the Dash from Me. I have it since Birth. The dash is an immutable quality. No one can match you. You cannot be beaten. You are strong, you are agile, able, and wise. The Lord Is With you. Yet, you are to be growing, like the rest of life. You are no better, and are humbled by this.

As I was trying to get to sleep, a cat seemed to infiltrate my nuts. Now, I am no cat. I may have feline tendencies, but a man you see. Yet, the cat was able to talk to me. I fantasized about making love to Brenda. This is wierd creepy since she told me to move on. Get away, restraining order. All of that. I'm not certain going against such words is wise. So I did not, and did listen to her. Yet I still fantasize. Still want to suck those titties. Still want to make love to her. To show her I love her. So that she can feel better. I know where she's at, she not having fun. She may lie, front, and be a soldier for her choice. She made her bed kind of thing. But she still needs to clown. That's her nature.

I know because I am a clown. A natural clown, did you know that? A phenomenon of Lynwood. Wow. Someone real who can clown. Who knows about down. Who knows what is up. And who is committed To the Lord Jesus Christ. This is the marking of God Uon the Earth. Not that I'm God, but that God Is Using me to work here.

Let's go to work now, speaking of which. I have to make this 4 to get the 30, so I can go to the store and pull out 20 something, and then I can eat and pay my tithes. I scrape along now, but make no mistake, I'm learning new sh each day. One of these days, I'm going to put up a web page like I said. I'm going to design. One day:

I design my website right tight with might, and

I upload 3 pages a day,

2 sales pages,

1 clown page, where I just clown and act stupid.

2 business pages, one clown page a day. So at the end of the year, it's like 300 pages up. Then I'll see if I earn or not.

I'll have two paths, marked by a splash page. The splash page will be like "welcome to Tightdad.com. Then you'll be like "Which way to go?" The dad way, or the lesson way.

It's DAD

It's LESSON.

LESSON is all nice and high class.

DAD is depth. Each page has a linking to another page deeper inside. So you'll be like 300 pages deep. Guess where all the clowi

There then you will feel a surge of pride and intensity. so there it is. You don't w

I am not against you.

But I hate some things. Don't waste time. This is what The Lord Revealed.

Don't waste time. Don't waste your life. Don't hold onto files. You may put files you really care about somewhere near. Place them in a bottle, and let them colleect.

I respect all life. I was flying this time. I seemed to be learning to fly. It is a wonderful thing, not strange. In this world, we are simply cleaning. I simply clean. I am the eternal janitor here. Earth is a clean place.

There are those who wish, and those who know. Those who take, and those who create what is taken. Like the eternal tree, there is fruit to be born from the branches. I am such a tree, but I had no idea. I'm like the willow wisp, ab bits of the redwood. Perhaps rather Evergreen. I have said this.

I am flying in the clear sky, which turns into a parking lot. The women and some people in the lot are trying to keep me from flying. I slow down.

I see the people have placed us on surveillance because they could not be growing without us. They need us to progress and advance. I am addicted to brogress. I see we need to keep growing the chapter of man. If we fall or stumble, the lesser greet us. They help us back on our feet. I am grateful for this.

It is because of this training, this help I am here now. You have the power to help all. Use it now. Do not waste time. Your finest year is now here. Take advantage of the power you possess. No man can take it from you. Because no man created it.

The people were sitting in a lawn, and I flew. I was also playing video games in my drawls. A few Mexicans rushed a door to my right. It was a nice house, calm with love. There was a dimness to it, and there was a tv screen and kind of a dirty room where I was at. I flew there, I think. I do remember flying over a tree, which was healthy green. I see this is the kale.

I need to eat more earth to know what is next. No man can fathom earth, but subdue it. You may have a growing with height. You don't want to give people thier undue. What they earned is what they learn, Amen? Don't give away YOUR tight. Let them create their own.

Forever fighting, is the way to go. Always fight for what is right. Resist what is not right, and it will flee from you. Being clean cannot be worse than being dirty. I saw a white breast this morning to suck. It was as if she was introduced to me, by Jay Z. I thought it was Beyonce. No, it was some White woman.

But, I think this was a response to yesterday. I sucked a Black breast then. It wasn't Brenda, I think it was Angela. But she was trying to tell me something, a message.

I'd like to bridge the gap between there and here. It was so beautiful there. I was learning to fly. I am learning to fly. There is nothing unreal, so there is here, in some way. I can fly here too. It is among the people that you learn to be dim.

Lord. I am like Julius McClendon.

Phuck buck

Luck suck. Ran out route with no doubt. I won't pout. I love the route anyway.

So here I will say. I had a dream where there was a store, a scratcher, and crying. I was happy, there was Sorieda, and I was crying. I wasn't told anything, foo. I was just there crying in the liquor store.

And there's more. I was in the bed with a woman who was Diana, Angela, (my friend), and a touch of Brenda. I slept with her. Literally. A little kisses, a kiss of her right breast, and a little laying down.

Suddenly these men pop up, a little black boy first. The boy has a bald head. I he has on a black shirt. I think now it was Reverend Brown's minions.

They looked like Markeesh type followers. They were like jagged, ragged. I shook one of them's hand and almost grabbed his elbow.

"I don't want to grab your elbow, because I means I don't like you."

The man grimaced at me. See, this is a theme.

The others were lewd, in this semi red, semi blue yellow house/room. Suddenly a young man bursts in rude, and grabs me, I snatch back, ready to fight.

"I guess now is the time to teach you young snappers a lesson."

"I'm getting you out of here." says the kid, or young man. "No you're not, I say." Then I snatch back from his grasp.

He didn't all the way grab, and when I snatched away, I seemed to fall off a banister a little bit. Then I woke up.

Maybe that's what he meant. I didn't hit him, but I think I got a matter resolved. Some of those men I got.

So this is going on. There is a cleansing happening, and the prisoners do not want to be forgotten. So they had a runt go ahead. The person is not a runt to me, but then again, a prisoner is an elected runt. You didn't have to be there, but you are. So you are a runt to that effect, socially. You have to be kind and humble in society.

Abraham was there too, on my left. In his underwear. He had on black drawls. I don't know why he was there, but there was a TV set up in the front of me, like the Nigerian movies. I suppose I ought to watch Nigerian movies at least once a week, for a few moments. Then I can at least get some cultural understanding.

I'm not gay also. Deacon Tate kind of pushed up on me in the kitchen the other day, for new years. The old man, Griggs, when I stood next to him, I seemed to want him to give me a kiss on the cheek. I felt that. I felt that gayness, that affection. I felt that. I cannot give a man affection, but I can see how a weak man is lured to lunacy there.

It felt I wouldn't say right, but it didn't fee wrong. Perhaps it's an Italian thing, where you know, the man kisses you on the cheek. But in this situation, I have to (come up off that) realize there are more forces than one trying to stop the progress win.

I have to clean myself up. I can clean the world up, a little at a time. There is a reason I go slow. You cannot stop the tree, or ask it to grow faster.

Reverend Brown may have suggested by asking me to clean the outside of the cchurch those trees, that I am the only tree growing here. Not these palm trees, to connect with Palmer street. There is no need to connect those two streets more than they are connected now.

But I'm not going to tarry. I have to get back to work.

Lord.

Get stuck like a truck

Who are you? Are you tired of winning? Did you have dinner last night? Whose really tight? Lord Jesus Christ!

Now that winter is near, let's have some cheer. How close are you to beer? Do you not see clear? Think on your performance. I thonk it is a bonus. I rode aside bogus. No need then to notice. I was not funny here. I did not have a beer. Idid not see it clear. The bus ride was sheer. Interesting. I ling for ping. But things did zing. I ching a jingle. My money can mingle. I dont have a single. Or a dongle. I still have my tonsils.

There is no magic pill. Hallellujah and will. Two l's for real. I am so for real. No need to kneel. Neal is real. Buford is big. There's a lot on your mind.

It ought to tell you something about your canvas. If you have  a reason to hold the knowledge, you will. If you do not have a reason, you will not. There is no effort without merit, but the better the intention, the more positiove the effort, asnd therefore the bettere the merit.

Great merit means great effort and great effects. There is no reason to move quickly without awareness. If you know what you are doing, then you can move fast. When you do not know what you are doing, then you move slow. This is the law I set for myself.

This is something Snoop said in an interview one time. He was coaching little league football and said this. I remembered what he said.

My mother looked nice on the performace last night. I was proud of her. She seemed to have issues with maybe her weight, but she needs to be grateful for life. I don't think your size is going to matter where you are going.

As stars in the sky, so is earth. The stars float, so do we, on this planet. So must the spirit of man float also. You may tend to gravity, falling down to the earth many times. Arising up, you have an effort attached to a goal. This is how things get done quickly, and with spirit.

When you have a goal, you animate more than just your body. You animate your spirit also. You get yourself fully involved. Don't you want to achieve your goals this year?

This is the greatest year of mankind. This is because all knowledge is available. Anything you want to know, it is there to know. There is not enough time to know it all. The trip is, your mind is connected to all knowledge. The firmness of the connection is had by the eforts in that direction.

For example, if you want to know how to earn a living online, think of the things you must learn:

Be able to sell your product,

Have a product to sell (I Take Brenda if I can)

Promote your product if you need to, or have a product so good you don't need to promote, it produces gravity of itself,

and be persistent.

My diligence is unmatched. I can do things over and over again thousands of times. I am eternal. I am grateful. I amm able. I have merit. No action of mine is free, all costs some money. A thought of mine is worth money. A word of mine is worth money. Every moniute I am alive has worth which appreciates. I am eternally grateful to God. I love The Lord. I believe in The Lord Jesus Christ.

These are attributes which form the basif your character. You form your character based on rank. Do you know you rank your thoughts? The thoughts with the highest rank go in the front. You are thinking about catching the bus to work. You rank work high. So the thoughts remain in front.

There is a direct connection between experience and merit. You may believe on the inside you do not have merit. So on the outside, your experience reflects that. You don't believe until you achieve.However, you don't achieve until you believe.

Which is it going to be? Are you going to believe you can fly, and then fly, take off, soar? Or will you fly first, somehow, with wings, with a plane, and then say you can fly? There is a choice for you to make.

What are your goals for 2020, the best year of mankind?

I for one own a home. I live in the City of Lynwood, California. I live off of LaSage and whatever the street is near, by the supermarket. I get along with my neighbors, I walk to the park every moring. I meditate near the library. This is by December 25th, 2020. This is the best Christmas I've ever had. Last Christmas was the worst.

It was bad because I was fizzling out. My mother is on her career, and wants to control her child somehow too. Perhaps she feels that if she can control you, she can control her career. She cannot control you. She can only guide you. She is not your adversary.

She simply wants to have a successful career. If she can get you to help her somehow, say be a host of energy, like a refridgerator, then she can predict your movements. Then, she can plan accordingly. She knows you will not smoke, will not drink, will not masterbate much, But she can then do all the things she wants to do. She can predict your behavior.

So what are your goals for 2020, the best year of mankind?

I earn $1 million dollars by July 26th, 20020. My birthday is the best birthday I've ever had. Because I perform the tasks to get me paid daily online. I set up shops which net me about $30,000 a month.

I get my start selling affiliate products. I sell other people's goods by hosting videos. The videos are selling the prodcuts. I put a few introductory words,, and then have one video explaining the product.

The videos are high quality. They are entertaining also.

Each video, after you watch it, will teach you something. I put up quality videos each day, and the best quality videos I host on blog.

When the video is nearing end, I encourage the reader and viewer to continue reading. Then they get to the bottom of the page, where there is one more video, and a call to action.

The final video is usually a call to action and a congratulation for making it this far down the page. Your reward is clicking the call to action.

Once you click the link, you are taken to the page where you buy the product.

These pages are generated with care.

I then place links to these pages on other videos. I then share each video carefully, taking time to visit each site and share my efforts.

The greater the quality of effort, the more inclined you are to take more quality action. With time, the procedure is simpler.

Wuth the profits I earn from online sales, I purchase mining rigs. The equipment is first set up in my garage. I turn my garage into a have mining comapany. When I start to generate at least $1000 every month, I then sell the arrangement. The pdf can tell you how to set up the rigs, and I sell the pdf online for $4. You still have to get all the equipment. But, you have the information now. You may set one up quickly.

Later, after 6 months, I start introducing my neighbors to this. I ask them if they want to earn another $1000 each month, but they have to buy equipment. The gear they get will cost $5000. But for the rest of the time, they earn $1000 or more each month. Their bill will go up about $100 also. This is an investment, but not like a playstation. This is like buying a car that appreciates over time.

I value these experiences and interactions with my neighbors because now, I am a business man. Sister Ada told me I could "never run any business." So I knew then that's what I had to do.

I start to get calls from people wanting tolearn how to set up rigs. I refer each call to the website, which I text to them using my slate. (phone)

I get more sales from people interested in learning about the rigs. When then I watch Lethal Weapon, I see the man witht name riggs. I like that, and use the man's image on my website, clowning.

It's real Lynwood love on my business. I come up with "Stripes Mine" December 5th, 2020, at 8pm. I get my first sale for a house rig that night. I install the rig first thing the following morning, in a neighbors garage. He tells me if this works, he will refer one more person. This is how Stripes Mine works.

After each rig is installed, Stripes collects a check or payment of $5000. Then, for a month after the installation, you may ask for help to manage the installation. This is where the business comes in. I simply arrange the installation, and employees of mine (YEs I have 3) go out and do the installation for me. I give them a cut of at least $400 each time. This is because I have to make sure I get paid.


The people I hire are not working for minum wage. They work for 14.50 an hour. I tell them where to go, and they come to pick up the rig gear. The rig gear had to be carried in a truck, because I need to make sure it is packed a certain way. The trucks I buy are old vans, and I get a paint crew to nice them up for me.

The vans are different kinds, whatever I can afford, or what is available. The Stripes Mine colors are blue and gold.

I sell Stripes Mine later in 2021 for $1billion dollars. I start to get house calls from around the globe.

I cannot do all this work and stay Lynwood down. So I have to sell the company. I bank the billion dollars and live off the interest.

Lord.

Say Hallelujah last thing every time.

When you stop talking, say Halleujah. Say this the first thing when you wake up, and the last thing on your tongue. Always. This is not a magic triick. This is the weord of God. The most ultimate faith comes from saying Hallelujah. this is the highest praise. There are songs about it. But the main song is sung by you, before you go to sleep. When you lay down to rest, say Hallelujah out loud and let that be the last word you say.

I think you will know God more than before with this. I had a dream and woke up to say Hallelujah. Then I said tomyself "LAtino" Of course, this wasn't going to benefit the black man all the way. But Halellujah saved me. Saying Halellujah out loud saved me from LAtino.

Not that there's anything WRONG with Latino. But just like pavarian beer, if yo are not from Pavaria, or wherever that beer comes from, when you drink it, you're not going to appreciate the full flavor. It's just a name to you. You might get a buzz, but not a Pavarian buzz.

You have to be Latino to get the full effect. It's like saying "nigga" and not being black. You don't have to do that. Don't do that. When you don't do that, you'll be better off. Say Halellujah instead. I think that's higher than any other name.

It also shows you have faith in The Lord. Lord Jesus Christ will not thrust Himself in the front of your praise. You may worship a statue and fail. But The Lord Will not Say, "You shoulda worshipped Me."

I walked out of the comedy club knowing a whole new advantage. I cannot be defeated in my own country. What is this? All along, I was thinking wrong. How can I lose? I don't lose, I am never defeated. I have the home court advantage at home in USA. What was I talking about?

I was growing up. There's nothing wrong with growing up. I used to think there was. Why wasn't I a star already, a millionaire at 25? I was influenced by Eddie Murphy, the greats, Seinfeld, even Carlin. I wanted to be like them already out the box. You unwrap the plastic and suddenly be tight.

How is this, when you are 35? I used to have a downer mind. Always thinking down. I think that's tight some times, but most of the time it's bullsh*t. I could go on, but there it is. You can think down. But think up too. Think up more than you are to think down. And when you are thinking down, consider the options you have. When you are thinking down, think tight too. So you'll have balance.

I was at Nikea's house, it was an apartment, like when I grew up near. She was alone, and I was walking in. I always had a secret like to Nikea, she ha d big breasts and was from Lynwood. I thought that was it, but later on. Devon had gotten to her already. So I didn't go all out about the crush. It wasn't a crush at all. It was just really my friend had a big titted girlfriend.

I was in this place, There was a pastel green look. The kitchen, all everything was like the apartment I was staying in, so I think the arrangement was for me. She liked me. I was with some friend, a black man. It was like she was showing me she liked me and I liked it, but I didn't move on it.

Instead, I was like a priest. The friend advanced, and I said to myself something like " If he likes her then there it is." Much like Devon. Devon liked her, so there it was. She had a picture with her breasts out. It was like she wanted me to suck them. But the nipple was so sharp. I could see all the ridges.

I said something about this earlier. I said, if you see the details of a woman's skin, she isn't for you. So if you don't just see a big sausage nipple, food pepperonis, then you are dating, doing, fornicating the wrong woman. The right woman will look, smell and feel like a snack, food, a meal. She will seem right unto you.

So in this dream, that's how it was. She was like sharp nipple, but still pretty. Still pleasant, I mean. I didn't advance on her. The friend even got in the bed with her. I was going to the store to get toilet paper.

I walked outside to a beautiful day. Some old white man was in a house to my right. It was a pleasant neighborhood, wherever I was at. I started to see a dirty looking black man in disheveled clothes walking in the street. The old white man was in his garage. He looked like Devon, but he wasn't. Perhaps he was like the shadow of Devon, because he was with a white beard.

I felt that I was infiltrated but that I didn't do anything bad. I like Nikea, but there's nothing I can do about it now. She had a baby with Devon. I can't raise the baby my best friend had.

I don't think I'm supposed to do all of that, but I think she was just showing me she loved me. That was nice. I still was like the church in the dream. I just let the love pass.

Maybe that's my flaw. I give everybody erlse and get the short end of the stick. I always thought that was wrong, for some people to get the short end. Anyway, I clowned Damon Wayans Jr., but not intentionally. I didn't come after him. He helped me actually. He's a good man. It's like God is helping me to become a comedian.

I felt a surge of confidence last night. "Willie, I won't let you down." I wanted to smoke and drink. But when I passed by his old job, I felt the feeling go away. Didn't want to let him down.

I'm not finna just give up. That WAS my problem. I don't just give out the winning number, and I don't get shit. That's over with now. I know where the job is at. I know, I lived that life. You're reading a blog, and you want all the answers now. This is not a test to cheat on.

Then you will mobilize against me, because I didn't give you what you wanted. You have a job, a car, credit all of that. I have a pear to eat. And you still want more. I don't feel sorry for you any more. You're just giving in to greed, because you don't care. You don't care about my life, just what YOu can get.

That's fine with me. Stay like that. Just say Halellujah before you go to sleep.

I'm not going to let you down, Willie. Mr. Webster, I'm going to make it as a comedian. That's my job from God. I really feel that now. Filling in, getting the money otherwise, well, that's just weeks away. You keep working, and you'll find a way. I know where the job is at. I don't have to tell you. You're just a thief anyway. You'll laugh and say, stupid black, you gave me all the answers. Now you're not going to get nothing! HA! Isn't that funny?

That's the Latino I'm talking about. Good for them, not always good for you.

But Halellujah is good for everyone. Even Latinos. Do that what I'm saying. It's the ultimate sign of faith, and it doensn't cost anything but words.

Lord.

there is a conspiracy against me.

It stRTED when I was young.

I was maybe 18, or 19 at the time, and I was headed to work. Now work to me was youTHink, a social non profit. I sued to tell people I worked there, and they would give me a funny look. I don't think they took it seriously, because it did not have benefits. There was no dental plan. It was under the table the way I got in, but the check was legitimate.

 The check also was small. On the way there, I wore a green shirt and blue pants, Nothing especially stellar, just my lack on style and youth. I saw another man, dressed in EXACTLY the same ting, a bit to my right, in the distance. I felt I was being followed.

Later, a woman who worked with Sunji Ali, took me around the neighborhood. She showed me a man with EXACTLY the same clothes on as me. I couldn't believe it. All the way down to the socks and perhaps the shoes too, but I didn't check those.

I was stunned and shocked. I later went on to buy her some chicken. Her name was Pamela, and she is on a song entitled Homeboy from Sunji before he passed.

This continues today. Now we have many folks sucking off me and prospering. Profiting, getting their share of what they stole. They call it business, they call it progress. They act rude, and try to make you look bad, as if you are the crumb and they are the original. No one ought to be the crumb, and I am the original.

I suppose this is not something to cry for, because it will continue. you have children that are born now, being taught it's ok to steal. It's called inspiration now, not theft.

I had a vision of being at a store and there was a blue sweatered man to my right. He was not smiling at me and appeared to be threatening. He had the same wild hair as you see now, the dread or what have you. I appeared afraid, and ready to fight. I didn't have to.

I then was at some restaurant. There were sitting with me some black folks, people who you would consider modern progressives. The boujie, I have you don't types, people who sold out their heritage. People who wouldn't talk to you on the street. PEople who wouldn' be around you if you didn't have money. I sat with these people.

I was talking to them, or hearing them talk. They were all light skinned, not high yellow, but light enough to say they were light skinned. The man on my right was not friendly. The man before me was not smiling either. All the people seemed to be against me.

There was a table to my left. On that table, a man in a hoodie seemed to be talking to someone facing behind me. He also seemed to signify some awareness, like, revealing he used to be dirty. The hoodie was multicolored, and clean. I seemed to be able to tell he used to be dirty, but now he wasn't.

Behind HIM was another man, a black looking man, in a black hoodie. He was JET black. Blacker than skin. He was not a man. He looked at me, to his left, and was not smiling. He was frowning, gnashing his teeth. He was evil like. He was like, another being in a black body. He had the appearance of a really black man. But he was not black. He was like space. He was dark, not skin colored. He was another being.

Then, "5 balls" I hear. The man to my right reaches over to me, telling me this. He puts his arm on my right arm, like pulling me a little bit. I suddenly see this enormous blob of flesh, men's long penises jutting in and out of holes. These were like stomach holes. These were like gross perverse holes. All the bodies were like melted into one, and some men in the blob were sucking other men's dicks. All the dicks were long, all were like big and all were black. The men sucking looked frustrated, trapped, confused, lost in perversion. Pure lust. It was like out of a nighmare.

The blacker than night guy looked at me like, "now you know something" and gritted his teeth at me. They were sharp and knife like. If they bit you they could tear flesh. His skin shined in the light from the room. Were still like in a restaurant. I knew something now, maybe too much.

I woke up shortly after this and said something about Lauren Sanchez and Jeff Bezos. "She sold you out" I said. "For herself."

Something eerie is going on. The people I saw, all of them were mad. At me. Not at the world, or the cafe we were at. Just me. They all wanted me to die, I thought. I felt they were all out to get me.

What does that mean? It means they want to see me dead, as if it would solve a problem. It's like something was supposed to happen, and because I am alive, it didn't. Now, people are furious.

Christmas day, a man drove by my uncle and grimaced at me in the car. He too had a black hoodie on. This was in real life. It's something about the black hoodie, something about the grimacing. The man in the dream did the same thing.

But in the dream I smiled back. I gave a clown smile like, "yep, you can't stop the clown, da." I felt forced to do it, like defending myself. So you see, in both cases on the dream, I defended myself. It's something trying to get at me, and is not able to. So I have to defend my myself or show strength.

I don't know what is going on. All I know is I am alone in this to some degree. I don't have a job, I have only a little money, and I need to earn fast. I need more than $5000 a month. TJ's Mom, I saw her at the bank. She didn't say nothing. She was like, hesitant to say anything. I didn't say anything either. She wasn't wrong, but I could sense the tension. She was concerned about her son.

Some time ago, I told her mother I had plans to raise TJ. To take him from the environment he was in and raise him blue. Not so much gangs, but just the true blue way. The way I was raised. To do right, keep it tight, and always have honour. It's the only way.

I don't think the mom wants that, or will allow it, especially now. The dad kind of looks like Mr. Lamar, a dude who secretly likes Brenda and helped her escape my love. He helped her to embrace the neighborhood and stay with some military guy or whatever, but anyway not me. The sabotage of our relationship started way back. We didn't look right, I didn't have any money, and there was a young lady who liked me. She was trying to get my interest, but I was interested in Brenda's tits. Moreover than that, I was wondering myself whether or not we ought to be together, since I didn't know how to love Brenda then anyway. I know now, but I wish I had've then.

So there you have it. Strange perversions virusing the earth, and the people are with it. The reason, it's easier. No worries if you are perverted. No real consequences for imperfections. Easier to belong. But it's wrong. Gay is wrong. It's in schools. Are they going to have beer next? Are they ogoing to have heroin needles, sherm and weed blunts at school on campus?

I beg to differ. I am different all the way. My parents have been acting odd. I won't say wierd, out of respect. But the oddness is there.

My father was telling me about getting a job. I told him, If I can't make it, I'll have to get a job. He sounded relieved. "Yeah," he says. It's like he saying, "give it up son, get normal, and get in gear." I almost want to rebel. Then, he's raising two other kids! Tracy wants me dead, it seems like. If I was just gone, he wouldn't have to worry about California any more! HE could just focus on me, and the kids. Forget about California or Julius. He's a screwup any way. I don't really think she thinks that, but that's how it seems to me. I think she'd just rather I go away and let the twwo young men be the focus now. They're my siblings, but not blood!

So there you have it. Not to mention I have $12 paypal now. Or less. I have 4 something on the SJ, and 11 on the cat. I have a little fun scrather money, and few points from the laugh. It's a sad chapter because the money is low.

I think if I have a goal of $5000 a month online, then I have to be able to guarantee that income month after month after month. If I can guarantee the income of say $1500 a week, then I can say I have $5000 a month covered. But Lord, how do I do that? What is the method? What is the procedure?

Pray.

Lord.