Not better than, different from

Astonishingly enough, I've caught myself in a rut, riddled with feh flavoured moments of dismal failure and bitter confusion. I'll recover, but I've erected a poem for that moment of victory:

I see you've come a little different
now
Not so wanting any more.
Hopeful inside,
your selfishness has left you
But your willful stride has not.
I see you've shaved with calm strokes today
Where again is that stress you so taskingly display?
Are you on a whim again
Or trying harder?
Is your day longer
or your night shorter?
Who is at the reins of you?
I have kept myself in order
you have not in my eyes
But now, these eyes are lowered,
and my mouth silent.
and before them stands a man
not like the one I knew before.
He is agile and sleek in thoughts
his charm effortless
and his problems gated,
not hidden but on display.
So maybe I'll study
because perhaps I will have to know
what it means to be
different from
instead of better than
for a height unshared
is no height; but a calm prison
Sometimes.