It's been a minute since, but I think, like always, I have a meaningful word to say.
F*** no one, ok. I think having a pause in my mind is the same as giving in to confusion. All these days, I could have been assembling a fortune.
I went on the internet to find a teaching program. I learned that new skills were the key to my fortune. It's not having a nice car or knowing who works there that is important. It's having the actual skills you need to perform well which make all the difference.
I had a test to pass and it was hard. I thought I'd ace it. The test I thought I'd ace. Yet, when I got into the actual test, I failed maybe three times. I had to take the test over again. I failed another three times. I did this for about 4 days. I finally passed the test with 87%.
What this told me was, all the time I've been spending investing in creativity, it's been a rehash of the same old skills I had. It's not that creativity is (Lord may my Sperm impregnate my wife)not good, it's that creativity means you have to have rules and structure too.
You don't get away from structure because you are creative. In fact, you have to be even more structured, because when you come back to earth from your creative trip, you still have real things to take care of.
So who am I to say what can and cannot be done? It's a matter of creativity. I know this sounds bizarre, but try to realize I've been having these thoughts shelved for some time. Lord, Thank You for words. I don't see how I could be sane without words.
The fact is I needed to learn more skills to have the breakthrough. When you have several new skills, you refresh your mind and your potential. You blow the dust off your connections. It's not enough to just have one thing or another going. You have to have the whole thing going right, or else you're going out.
I think rummaging through your mind will give you a clue on how best to fight the urge to die, or lose or whatever it is. If you've been playing a game where someone else has to lose so you win, then you have a penalty waiting. You know how to think. You know what is best, and what is right. You know all this. Yet, what are you choosing? Are you just waiting for some chance to pull out of respect, to give yourself all the credit you didn't deserve?
Its like these people here. I'm keeping the names a secret because I don't want your name to pop out nowhere it's not, doesn't belong. So I'm telling or being told something about food brought in. All the time, food on the counter gets looked through. No one has a problem looking through the food, trying to realize what's there. Yet, we have this special day, no one does that. No one goes through the food, no one bothers to check it. Not even me. I don't casually or politely tell the people that there is food to be looked through. I just leave the box there.
So the next day, the box melts. All the food is thawed, it doesn't look good. It doesn't look bad, but it looks spoiled. It's not, it's actually Ok, most of it. Some of it is spoiled, or too hot to refrigerate safely. Still, I want to keep some of it, and I do.
The most important fact to remember is, no one checked the box. Not them, not me. Since I brought the box, I was supposed to check it. Normally these people would be nosey, and want to know. This time they were not, and I heard about it.
During this time, there was a rudeness like you wouldn't realize by yourself sleep. No one in the history of life has ever been this rude at this moment. I help you every single day, and do things to make your life better. The result of all this help, but no, I have to be rude, some strange entitlement, whatever. I haven't a clue as to why. I did what I had to do, and the problem was squashed.
I really believe they need their ass kicked. I, as a childless parent, think they need a spanking. They've been getting away with fantastic crimes, for years. Embezzlement, you name it. I don't think it's that drastic, but these kids need a time out.
It shouldn't be in your heart to be rude to other people. It's nothing you're trying to get that's going to justify rudeness. You're not going to rude your way into heaven. You can't be rude and say, "let me in the gate.". That by itself sounds rude, "let me in". Can't you just ask them nicely, instead of thrusting some attitude on them?
I encourage people to be themselves. Don't play a role, which leads to frustration. You can't keep a role up forever. You can't serve two masters.
My dear mother also. I see she is lonely and depressed. She's looking for a fight. She's sad. She's depressive. It's convenient to have these feelings because they provide constant attention. You need constant attention because you are not attending to yourself. You are not addressing the needs you truly have. You have to be honest with yourself. You may be living a lie. You need the truth to heal you. I'm not asking for you to change. I'm asking you to realize why change is needed.
If I lived across the street to the hospital, I'd feel the same way. I'd feel like I had a handle on real problems. I'd be a handler of real problem things. I'd have a great solution to all my needs. Why? Since I lived right next to a hospital, I'd have the resources and the ability to do such things.
I don't know what the darn needs to happen with my mother but prayer. Prayer can help things. I ain't gonna lie, when I was watching that porn, I was mesmerized. I learned a lot too. I saw that a woman has control over the situation. Women are very smart. I think The Lord Did us a Favour Putting women here. One woman per man is all you need.
I was hypnotized by bad behaviour. I see this is a recurring theme in my life. To be hypnotized by bad behaviour. I have to clean this up soon, so I can have a good life. No sense in having a bad experience, because you don't want to clean up your act. Clean up your act so you have a good experience.
I don't want people saying I stole anything from them, or got anything from them. Let them people alone until it's showtime. They have to learn they are not the boss of the facility. They are members of a congregation. Not the leaders of it. You don't weasel your way into church leadership. You want to be a leader fine, but don't proclaim yourself the leader of people who didn't ask for you to do so.
I think if you're going to be helpful to anyone, you need to be helpful to God.
What's going on with Neicey Nash? She's so fine, why did she leave her husband? I thought that lady was so fine and pretty, what in the world happened there?
Let me tell you something - God doesn't like gay behaviour. If you're gay, that's a disease. You are being stressed in some way. You are sick in the head. The whole head is "sick". I know you are not thinking straight when you want another man to come behind you and stick a penis in your behind. You are not well at that hour.
I think likewise the same for a female too. You want to be loved, that's fine. Love is necessary. However, you are designed to lay with a man to make more. When you want to make more, then you lay with a man. Still, you are not to be condemned for your behaviour. The thing I'm saying is, spreading it out. Spreading it out to tell other people. That's not necessary. You don't have to spread it out. You can have just a little bit.
I thought back and realized I had hater way back. I didn't know it then. I was a child, how can a child know? Yet, they were hating on me. Then. Hating a child. Power comes through who The Lord says. My mother ordered me a pizza. That's sweet. The pizza was for control though. To like tell me how far I can go. Or where I can go or whatever. I don't have a desire to be controlled by anyone.
Why are the people hating on me, Lord? Don't they want me to be happy? No? I gotta want myself to be happy then. I want me to be happy. How about that? Whether you are a low life loser who doesn't want me to be happy, or a kid, or whatever, a dog even, it's all about happiness from God. The Lord can make you happy. You have to get with him and find out how. Still, you can't let other people stop you. That's impossible. Associate yourself with people who care about you.
When you give yourself the good go for your life trials, just remember I'm only trying to school you right. People are going to get at you for money, fame, cars, weed, whatever. I'm getting at you, on the church. That's the only way. You won't progress without the Church. Jesus Saves. Halellujah. Jesus Saves. Have a nice day please, Thank you.
Thank You.
