Why I got mad at all

I forgive the kid. But the effort is clear. There was shitstarter in his steps. So I got mad. What are you doing that for? Whatever good I don't see thank you.

How would you feel? What if it was you?  That's not ok then. I don't see how this is going on. When you thought it was over, it was now beginning again. I see this isn't me alone.

How can it go bad for me If I care aboout you? This means you thought about slavery. Because that's the only way you'd come up with this. You had to have thought "Oh, this black man doesnt' matter". So there you are with that. You ran out in fromnt of a parade to explain, but really you don't care.

Let me back up.

First off, let me tell the story because, I don't want it to seem I'm picking on Mexicans. I'll not. Instead, here's what happened.

I walkied up to the gate to close it for the night, You know, the Church. I approach the gate to lock it. I grab the chains, and a young man and his woman appear. I don't say anything intentionally - it is known to me that young latinas like me sexually, but can't show it. Not the way they feel. Their men get mad. So now, am I to blame? I say yes because I know this, and don't cower, because that's wrong. Don't hide what you have. You have big tits, wear a shirt that protects them, but they're still there.

Now, they walk up, and I sense tension. Why? Because of the girl. The latina saw me, and the guy, she thought would cause the black to recoil. You'd see them and say, "Oh those kids in love" and look away. This was important.

But it didn't happen. I didn't look away. I looked at them walking by as I closed the gate. The man says something to me like "Have a good night", but not say sir. He didn't say "Sir" come to think of it.

So there it is. He saw me, said something, but did not say sir, and felt tense because of it. Now, the reason for the tesion, I do not know.

Yet, I forgive utterly. As I want to be forgiven. Will the Lord, Who is Abouve All Good, Forgive me? I hope.

Now,

The reason I got mad, it's because he didn't say sir. I felt there was a disrespect, but I didn't know what. My instinct was the girl did something. The guy was going along. All of this in a matter of seconds. I'm not asking the guy to do anything. I haven't said a word, mind you.

So here I am, mad at the fact these young people don't respect me. Why not respect me. I mean why don't you just respect Mr. McClendon standing therE?

It's not dawned on me. I am actually Mr. McClendon. That's a name for your ass too. Who is this McClendon? He sounds serious.

Not playing. Stern even. Am I polite? I try to be. You know I fail at that once ino a while. But not all the time.

Still on the story, this young man ought to be ashamed of himself  1% only - because he let a girl convince him to be rude. Which means she's already looking for - or with - another guy. She doesn't show this, but works to look innocent.

See, when a person is innocent, they don't know it. You know what I'm saying? They don't look like "Hey, I have nothing going on. Nothing to see here."

They look like they've done nothing worth knowing much about.

These two looked like cogs in a wheel. You do this, then that will happen and then. So I was played quick. I'm not made, but aware.

They do you like that now, until Lord Jesus. It takes him time because he listens.

The Lord doesn't thwart you. He doesn't throw you to the side and say Me First. The Lord Allows you to tell the truth, how it really is. You don't have to hate on that.

So these two got to feel heard in a respectful way for them, but direspectful for me.

So how, Lord, shall I feel? I don't see a reason to be happy yet. Good for them, but not for me?

I'm tired of that sh-- Lord. I want to get happy too. Is there a reason I cannot? I know I'm worthy of a smile. I better brush my teeth but I can smile! I better smile before I crack my dry lips.

You ever crack your lips smiling as a kid? You know how dry your lips have to be before you crack and bleed them? You have to not drink water for 7 hours. This only happens when you're twelve and below. Not no man would do that.

So back to the story, Lord, Brenda I love. I didn't call her on her son's birthday. I didn't give enough gift. I gave a small thing before the day. 3 small things. I hope they mean something Lord.

Giving all honesty to The Lord, I'm not mad at those kids. But I think something was up with them. They're letting me know something. The Browns are good until they don't need you. Then they'll try to eliminate you.

Now, I can eliminate. I do not eliminate becuse I haven't been eliminated.

So likewise, I show mercy.  On these kids. On what they are connected to. Someone told them this was ok. I'm not mad at them alot. They know better. That is all.

There is nothing you can see that's controlling this. No man, no Being but God.

Lord Jesus Christ Is The King.



So what th