Mi imprint will still be here

Because I care about the people, and I care about the neighbors. I care. The Lord Cares.

We care for you. But there are those who don't.

You didn't make a fuss about the roaches in the Church. You made a fuss about the roaches in your clothes. You didn't want roaches in your clothes, and didn't want to take the risk of them beingin there. So you made up a story about the rest of the church being effected.

Stop using my shit and putting it back on me. Like I'm a dummy or someone who doesn't know any better. I think youought to be ashamed of yourself, seeing the way you carry on.

You know better.

I helped a lady today. I picked her up, and felt good about it. It's the first time I've held a woman in quite a while. I don't think I'll be holding her too often, for she might want to give me head.

Which I'd refuse. She's 81.

But still in all, I got $40. And juice, and donuts. I feel good about that. I don't feel particularly good about having to deflect the nonsense of people. Why do they do this, in the store. Why do they come against me, in the market? What have I done to deserve this? Nothing.

It was this old game of "Get the black" for free. Get the black people's stuff and use it on them, for free. They're not stupoid, but we'll act like they are. And we are better than them. I don't agree with that. We are smart. I am smart. I know I am smart, I know I am powerful. I know The Lord Loves me. I know that much. But I know nothing.

This I have been taught by Mr. Banfield. Years ago, I learned to be humble. By the way, take a bath. When you wash your a--, maybe you'll have a better understanding.

I don't understand. I am not going to fall in line with madness. You brought that riggity ragged sh-- here. But I'm not into that. I don't think we need to be into that here.

Bottom line there is that you have a little time left to use my power against me. As I improve, you'll give more and more back. Until finally, you give it all back. To Lord, to me, and to yourself. Youwere stealing because your self esteem was low.

Brenda, I hope she is ok. I love her, but she told me to go. I harp, but at one time, it was all about that. Now, I must relax. I can't find a new one. There is no new Brenda.

I don't know what to do there, Lord. Pray, yes, I'll do that. I'll pray until my heart stops. If I love her, I don't think it has to.

I'll bathe, I'm scratching now. I like to get man-dirty. Showing the Lord I still got it. I can still get down. I can still handdle. I'm not all sugar free yet. I can still work and buff a sweat.

The Backyard has a tree in it that needs to be cut down. Now I don't think I need to cut down the tree. Instead, I'll clean around the tree, and then hire someone else to come in and cut the tree. After all, the right equipment makes it all right.

But what about the people coming and putting their imprint. They come and put their tag, and they want you to pay for it. More get the black stuff. Why do they do this Lord?

I'm tired of worrying about it. I think if people want to disrespect others to get paid, they need to really think about their future. We're on Earth for a while, then we leave. Where will you go?

I hope Heaven. I hope I go to Heaven too. There may be people who don't want me to go. But I still hope to go to Heaven when I die.

But having said that, on the EArth here now, without Brenda sucks. It sucks becuase I love her. But I've been talking this love sh-- for a while. If it's really true, where's the money? Where is the career? Where is the car? Where is the house? Where are the keys? Where is luxury?

It's here. In the mind. In Lord's eyesight. In the advantage of Lord Jesus Christ. He knows how it's supposed to go.

If I had a job, I couldn't help the old lady. Patricia Baker. I wouldn't have been there to pick her up off the floor.

I am glad to have done that. Ms. Baker isn't the only one I have helped. I remember there was a building full of just every kind of miscellaneous they had out. It was madness. And the man lived like a rat. But he was from the Military.  He knoew better. He was trained well.

I see the nature of man. People don't want to respect, don't want to love. But they want love, they want respect. Where will it come from, if  you don't want to give it?

I know The Lord. I remember Leslie, who is on TV now, gave me some weed to help her move. She also taught me to drive, by letting me borrow her car. This was the first time I drove.

Lemme tell you this story for the night. I was with Devon, and I played the guitar in front of his Father's Black, meth smoking neighbor. I knew it was meth, but I don't know how. I just know now. Maybe it wasn't, but that's what I remember about the man.

So as I was playing lousy guitar, the Black man was applauding my effort, saying things like "Yea,", and sh--. Devon's Dad had been playing for 30 years. He was in a band. I couldn't hold a lick. But the Black man supported.

Now, I am asleep. Suddenly, I hear Devon's Dad scream out "Nooo!!!" and SLAM the door. Glass above my head shattered. If the glass shards had fallen on me, I could have gotten cut, or pierced. I was unhurt by the grace of God. No glass even touched me. This was at 5am.

I hauled a-- out of there. I got the f---- on that morning. And I drove back to Leslie's house. This was the first time I got on the freeway.

I have a lot of embarrasing moments in life I am ashamed of. Like a funeral I did a video for and lost. To this day, I am indebted to the family. I am afraid for when their Grandmother dies, I don't want them to seek revenge on me. VBut I cannot be afraid. The people may want bloodshed, but not their house.

And if they want it, that's where it's coming first. It's coming to visit them, who want it.

Lord, forgive those who trespass against me. You Alone know the ways of man. What is right and what is not.  You aalone know what it correct. I cannot speak for others. But I know I havew done wrong, and I apologize. Ms. Skinner says I am "not sorry" I apologize. I am not a sorry man.

And I'm not sorry. I am a good man. I have been told this. I shall claim it.

I don't know what the hold up is with the people, why they don't this or that. But it only matters to you. Each of us had to seek our own salvation. I can't make you act right. You can't make me avct wrong.

Those people have to answer to The Lord for what they did. They had no right to talk to me in that way. They spoke to me out of decency. But they caught themselves. Because they knew, when the gavel pressed, they would be guilty. There was no problem until they got here.

Then suddenly. So just as suddenly there is not. There will be no problem here. This is a church. This is not a home, a shop, a gas station, a kick it spot, a rest stop. This is The House of The Lord.

We all know this. We reach for what is familiar, but hold contempt for it. Why? BBecause we are afraid.

We are afraid to change. I am afraid to do my best because, if I do my best, then I will see what I have. If I delude myself, If I tell myself I am progressing, I am working, when really I am not, then at least I feel like I am working. But when your stomach is growling, then you'll see you were really not doing any work. You growl, and a good man will not steal, but earn. A bad man will slick his hair, and steal.

He will see who has the berries. Who has fruit they picked. He will eat their fruit, if they let him.

I snatched lightly a bowl of pasta from the lady at the market. I wasn't mad, I was clowning. But it was in response to her rudeness. She was running the gavel on me. She was listening to signals from other Mexicans in the store. They were telling her and she was responding to them about me. I walked up, and she was going to put me in my place. "You Black" it seemed. So I took control. I took back control of the moment. You can't get my sh-- and use it against me like I am a slave. Like, "We can do this and there's nothing you can do about it." I hate that behavior.

It's not right. Why do you feel I can't do anything about you? What are you doing I can't do anything about? Why do you need me if you don't want to respect? Why don't you respect and learn more?

When we respect, we learn more. Who will teach you the secrets if you will betray them? Do you have to betray? Is is it a sexual thing? Does it get you off to be rude to me? Does it excite you? Does it make your man feel more pride? What is it? I know the answer is not something I will hear unless you're down to be real.

I have to be real. I was taught this.

Willie Webster taught me this. I ditched school, and he lectured me for three hours. He talked to me about being real, not lying, having respect. How hard they work, what it takes to make it, being a real Black man. He gave me three precious hours of his time. And all I gave him was a lie. I feel like a sore loser now that I think of it.

I deserve what I get then. If I do better, I'll get better.

Take better care of your life. You'll see things change quickly. I love you for listening. I have more to write, but I'll save it for the other blogs. There are more.

I like to vent here. I feel like The Lord is allowing me to speak my peace. I don't need war. I need peace to operate. Others, they are leeches. They don't have the ability, or the authority to lead. They've stolen it all. It is only in my triumph I will see triumph at all. For the thief has no substance.

I hope they get it together. I have no threat for them. There is no warning, no "You better not" moment. I pray for them now:

Each soul, Let them know You, Lord.

In the Name of Lord Jesus Christ I pray,

Amen.

In all labor there is profit.

My goal to reach:
I make a net worth of $9 million dollars by 35."